Emoticon

Preface

i know it is indescribably lame and reflects a certain bitterness to blog so much on Valentine's Day but it doesn't count if you're ignoring the holiday, right?

Chapter I

i am very used to being judged by my family. i know there's that whole cliché that your family is your safe place, and you can share anything with them because they will always love and respect you blah blah blah but that's bullshit and everyone knows it.
and being as i'm so used to being ridiculed and judged by them, you would think i would stop taking offense, but the offense-taking has yet to subside. usually, it's mostly my aunts, uncles, and cousins (i don't know why them, particularly, but they enjoy making fun of diet, weight, athleticism, sunglasses/apparel, nerdliness, photogenic-ness, hair, etc.) and coming from my family one would think that i would take their comical-criticism in stride and laugh it off, however, it can really get to you after awhile. but my point is not to garner sympathy from y'all, cuz actually, as i mentioned before, this is all great material for my upcoming humorous memoir. so my real point is....

Chapter II

my real point is my mom constantly seems to judge me for my lack of participation in social activity. i assume, based on stories from my grandma, and her,  that she was a "wild child" and consistently got in trouble, for, well, extended social activity. so i understand how seeing her eldest child fall a wee bit behind in that category might concern her some. which, i completely realize has been done before, and this is the beginning of one boring underdog story, but believe it or not my life seems to follow that classic underdog pattern (minus the success later on). anyway, we seem to have the following conversation at least twice a day. please do not interpret her judgement as a pursuit of simple organizational purposes:

jan knocks on my bedroom door, doesn't wait for an answer, opens door: so...meg...what are your plans for today?
me ...i don't know?
jan so*...you do not need me to drive you anywhere...?
me nope..
jan are you sure?
me why..?
jan i really think you should do something. call up some friends. get out of here!
me yeah, maybe...i don't know
jan come on, meg! you should really get out......i'm taking molly to meet up with some friends so i could drop you off somewh..actually, i've never met these friends of hers before. probably boys, right? ...and your room has to be getting stuffy, no? so...
me stares off into space; stressed out expression
jan  senses she's done here and leaves room, shuts door....finally.

2-3 hours later i retreat across the hall to pee, and hear muttering from the kitchen. decide to not be paranoid, and just, well, pee...

5 minutes later:

jan doesn't knock this time...what's up?
me stares at her.
jan need me to take you anywhere? no? well, i'm going to O'Malleys to meet some friends...dad's home if you need him to take you anywhere.
me continues to stare.
jan leaves. clearly frustrated.


*despite her dark low-lights, my mom is extremely scandanavian and says "so" every other word.

Chapeter III

i am getting really tired of having that conversation. the offense-taken is starting to build up

Chapter IV

don't worry, i'm done bitterly blogging on d-day... oh, excuse me, v-day.