this is why i LOVE twitter:

ditto.

http://thiscrazylifehowtodeal.blogspot.com/2010/07/world-peace.html

Liz, I found this inside my computer. Reminded me of you. "In a good way" of course.

if you didn't catch the linky hinty in the title, here it is again

http://thiscrazylifehowtodeal.blogspot.com/2010/07/world-peace.html

:D

these peeps have accents.....

nice accents...

idk why but this is my favorite nylon tv... (maybe cuz "skanky older brother" and the end line)









this is definitely the gayest....





you do not listen to "early reggae" so just shut the fuck up assy.

uh oh...

hahahahaha what the fuck..








..man...i wish i had sonias awesome internet skillz to sniff out the cool stuff




p.s. who else hates the new youtube fuckin' shit?! (pardon the unnecessary swearing...i'm exasperated...) the fuckin fuck recommended for you bar that pops up everytime you click a new video?! and the fuckin autoplay?! shut up youtube! shut yo fuckin face!

porn? waiiiit, am i doing free advertising now?! MONETIZE.

?

i find it really shocking that she'd change her last name.... why wudya do that? why?

COCKKBURNNNNNNNNNNOHMANILOVEIT

what-a-whirlwind.

what-a-DUMBASS. even behind the obvious joking...it's like...you are so stuuuupid honey.

chat log snippit.

"no...i didn't enter" lol

ok dude just shut up its getting gross.

ahh man me likey

Hey sexy lady, I like your flow...

it is occuring to me now that i could've just...dragged it...






p.s. it is also "occuring to me" (wtf) that liz and i are like, totally, blogging at the same time! like, woah!

ugh.

surprisingly, this is one of the more creepy tweets i've seen on Twitter

(via the producer/creator of Nick shows...don't ask)

its like...please,  don't do it dude. just don't. 

once again, i stole these from another blog:

be nice to your grandpa. 

happiness left a note on the fridge. you're on your own.

oh poohbear.

hmmm...i think we can all agree this is complete bullshit:

ehhhh...what to do, what to dooooooooooooooooo. 

an apple a day keeps the doctor away. 

hmmm...

well, if this doesn't spawn arousal (of the sexual nature?), then i don't know what does....

seriously though, im excited, and imma fool.

hoochiemama.

1.	Hoochie Mama	612 up, 154 down
	buy hoochie mama mugs, tshirts and magnets 1. A female who dresses ghetto ho fabulous. now that you know what it is, click it dammit!!!!! (only if that's your reaction, of course...)

yeah, i got this from another blog. i'm inventive.

word to the wise

tip for new parents:

if your baby is teething, cut a large chunk off a bagette, and let sit for a day. then give to your baby, and let them go and gnaw at it! days on end of excitement for the mouth!

(last sentence....................................thatswhatshesaid)

why must it be so large?

(thatswhatshesaid)

setting kids up for failure:

quotables.

"I've really driven a lot today. Can't say that I like this feeling," I told my mother as I was driving with her in the passenger seat. 

"You're like tired? You probably wouldn't mind [driving a lot] if it was in your own car, right?" she replies. 

"[pause..] Mhmm..."  ??

why must she tease me?


then

"Meg, can you go pick up Molly please? She's drunk off her ass."

oh, mom, you and your appropriate humor. 

jealous, much?

one pretty cool thing about my life, i must admit:

whenever i need a pick-me-up...just click play.................................................:)

this is the closest i could get molly on my blog.

she wouldn't let me take a video of it, but this is molly trying to lick water out of a bowl  like dogs do. i tried it, and let me tell you, it was quite difficult.

this blog is really going downhill...

if only i had a passion...i really want to live up to my role model, Angelina Jolie, and be a do-good-er 

..charities...here i come! (reference to the "Do Something" awards which was hosted by Jane Lynch [which i just realized is an unfortunate last name] yesterday...anybody watch?)

4:35...and counting.

as i write this blog (no vagina whatsoever...well maybe a little vagina...) an inevitably horrid countdown is occuring. right now it is 4:35 and the minutes will continue to tick by (wow really?!) and then at around 5:00 p.m. there is a big metaphorical bell that ding ding dings and tells molly, my dogs, and myself that there is an immanent, shitty event coming up. ANDDD that is the arrival of my parents; home from work.

do you guys have that? its like the house has a giant stopwatch going, that tells the vibes of the residence that BING BING BING YOUR TIME IS UP! FREEDOM IS GONE! LIFE SUCKS AGAIN! the. parents. are. home.

now they don't both arrive home at 5:00 p.m....that'd be weird..especially at the same time. but it is around this time that the dogs are fed dinner, molly and i clean up crumbs and furniture, and we proceed to leave the space we are occupying. that space being the first floor. no one wants to be home to greet my parents. not even my dogs. well, they do. they get excited, my parents talk baby-talk to them, repeatedly, its disgusting, we're expected to formally greet them, blah blah blah. basically, if you don't flee, you'll be trapped and have to talk to them. NO GO.

there's a certain air to the house when the parents aren't here. freedom to turn the tv up loud...eat shit...ok, i think you guys know what i'm talking about...don'ts got to esssplain. also, freedom to swear loudly and talk shit about parents. NO GO.


so anyway....its now 4:42...twenty minutes left... DUN DUN DUN DUN (?)

oh yeah, it gets worse.

sorry... thought i'd try to prove a point by making another video. was not successful, which is perfect because it mirrors my life. and what are vagina blogs about? your life. finito.

i'll stop showing my face now.


anyway, when i asked my sister to be a guest on my Vagina Blog, she was understandably confused. i explained it to her and she said quite simply, "that's incredibly boring. no one cares." which i think is the most accurate thing she's ever uttered.


bye.

the first time always hurts a little...

well, it came out worse than expected. but i will get better, and i will plan it out next time...with talking topics and everything...what  a high bar to set for myself.

vlog!

i think i'm gonna start posting vlogs on here. vlogs are vagina blogs, right? 

july 17

i wanna live somewhere in which the weather website displays a blazing sun and a cactus.

specifically:

preferably, not a city that regularly displays icons featuring snowflakes and a wee peak of sun, and always always always a high humidity rate.

saturday, july 17 

(sigh)

this is mostly for sonia, cuz youtube is her porn, and i can rest assured she will be the one person who watches this (don't let me down now sony). also, erin might because she is a long time ellen fan. who ain't?

skip the part (the beginning) where the AUDIENCE DOES NOT STOP CLAPPING (!!!) cuz that's super annoying. shut the fuck up people and let her talk.

3:39 so hilarious



p.s. all the gay jokes is cuz there was a lot of hype back then about her coming out/"you're here 'cause your gay" probablys an ice breaker. i don't know why i felt a need to explain. nevermind.

i was just reminded of how cute bunnies are.

if you didn't find any of my other videos to be at all captivating, then this will certainly...not interest you (?)

mesmerizing tho..

masterpiece..

this is a picture i just drew... i felt artistically inspired for a moment...and in the heated throws of the moment, i put my skills to work.

(it occurred to me after i posted it on this window, that the picture's words appear backwards. who am i to alter destiny?)

moms + driving

i would like to clarify the following:

when i blog/bitch about how i hate when my mom tells me to "be careful"when driving, its a very person-specific situation. i say this because recently i've noticed that some of you (sonia, erin) have become rather irked when your own mom's say "be careful." i don't want to come off self-centered...but you should know that i don't have aggressive feelings towards that situation and neither should you.

actually, if i was a mother, probably on the smash hit "16 and Pregnant," i would be extremely protective of my child. come to think of it, i don't even let the kids i babysit climb trees, cuz what the fuck! dangerous!!!!! so i completely get mother's urges to say "be careful" and the like because, hell! their child is going in a car with a peer! its a recipe for disaster...holy shit was that a jinx UNJINX UNJINX KNOCK ON WOOD.

O Canada

ohhh canada...you and your silly healthcare....

"she'll jump anything that moves" - liz

a tribute...

to roger sterling. mad men.



thanks old dude. you're the sexiest. MAD MEN : july 25. be there.

you just have to.

it may be what KDWB has dubbed as "lutheran guilt" but whenever i feel like too much...gluttony has seeped into my mindless, boring life, i feel gross. like i desperately need to be clean. and thus... cleaning ensues.

mindless pleasure has been my summer. nothing too uncomfortable, so i call it "pleasure." no school, so i call it "pleasure." lots of ice cream, so i call it "pleasure."

but then i woke up this morning, with the work ethic of a...donkey? what's the saying?

i woke up, gathered the strength to descend the 4 feet below my bed to the world awaiting, and then i heard the garage door opening. then, yes, i actually yelled, "fuck!!!" to myself. (because up until the moment i put my foot on the ground, the house had been deserted [molly's softball tournament]. what an ugly coincidence.)

following the f-word outburst, i wrote a list of a bunch of chores i wanted to accomplish today. i busily started, and pretty much chore-d-it-up the whole day. then, naturally, at the end of it, i took out my list, and a pen, and prepared to cross out all the chores.

to my surprise...

i completed only two of them.

sorry i keep posting about Twitter crap but i saw this, and oh! happy day! (see how the first tweet is awesome, but then is followed by...hahaha)

and then you simply click the link and BAM:

laugh. out. loud.

this guy's really good on jay leno and chelsea lately.

For Tessa

i was re-reading Diablo Cody's old tweets on Twitter just now (a regular occurence, i assure you), and i came across this brilliantly hilarious tweet, that is rather relevant, is it not Tessa?

probs

over the past few days, there has been a significant source of happiness in my life. its name is Weeds. Weeds is a tv show that I've really liked for quite some time, but the new season doesn't air for quite some time. yet, miraculously, Entertainment Weekly did a short but sweet page on it, and as you can see, I've plastered that sucker on my bulletin board (which sits right by the exit of my room.) so everyday, multiple times a day, I see this picture and my Summer of Disillusionment gets a little brighter for a few fleeting moments.

have i blogged about weeds yet? probs

PROOF!

remember the post entitled "cutesy giggle"? (remember how fucking stupid that title was?) well, here i offer evidence that my accusation that "she's always looking up at him like that, like she simply cannot believe that he's so damn cute" is true.

by the way, this is NOT creepy. wahh :( still, i shall post...

0.

1.












2.

3

4.

5.

6.

see?? he must get tired of seeing the inside of her nose so much.

For Erin < 3

Let me tell you about my day, guys. Let me tell you, how wonderful it was. How pleasant it was. How exciting it was.

The title is "For Erin <3" because I just saw Erin and she mentioned this blog. She also mentioned how ridiculous my "no capitalization necessary" approach to blogging is. Well, Erin, I will try my best to capitalize from now on for this one blog post. Also, the heart is because Erin hates that shit. I hate that shit. Let hilarity ensue.

Guys, I am blogging at such an odd hour (11:00 p.m.) for a number of reasons. Guys, I know you want to hear/read these reasons. Guys, I shall tell you these reasons. First of all, like I wrote earlier, I'm an insomniac. Second of all, I can still hear my uncle's voice downstairs. I'm officially scared of that man. Third of all, why wouldn't you guys want to know about my pleasant, wonderful day?

(1) I'm an insomniac because I do not do shit. I'm not sure y'all are aware of this, but when you don't do shit, you tend to not get tired (enlightening, I know!). Yet I continued my Apparent Summer Pattern by not doing shit today (though it did increase on the activity scale a bit from yesterday), thus, I cannot sleep. Thus.

(2) My uncle is here from Arizona (yes, the uncle that is married to the aunt that came up here but a mere two weeks ago. *sigh.) He is big. He is boisterous. He has a really deep voice. He is a picky-ass eater. He really only likes baseball, and baseball only. He's nice, and funny. But, I just don't want to spend time with him. So here I sit, in my room, typing. Oh Fucking A, I can now hear him Fucking Peeing in the room next door (the walls are PAPER THIN). Oh Fucking A. Jesus Christ I hate overnight, familial guests. Almost as much as Erin does (third Erin shout out!)

(3) I'm not going to write about my exercise regime today, because I simply fear I will jinx it! *NULL AND VOID* (that sentence did not happen.) I went to Target with Molly, where she repeatedly punched me. But surprisingly it was a better day for us, considering she actually acknowledged my presence. That was nice. Oh, memories. Then I went to Erin's House Where Brooks Actually (Also) Acknowledged My Presence. What an event. Then I had a frightening scare at Wal-Mart (in the parking lot, at 10:40 p.m.), in which I mistook the sound of my purse hitting the seat for someone moving who had snuck into the car while I was in the store. Frightening. I must have looked ridiculous now that I think about it: upon feeling quite frightened, I turned up the radio super loud, which happened to be playing Dynamite by Taio Cruz, and sang along, turning to look in the back seat every two seconds. Ridiculous.

Jesus Fucking Christ. I did not just write that shit. I'm sorry guys. See? This is why I have Five Friends.

*cutesy giggle*

oh myy...love is so kind

she's always looking up at him like that, like she simply cannot believe that he's so damn cute.