my kind of man awaits here:
;)
no, this post doesn't deserve a title. it wrote its future and it shall forever be known as....untitled
Saturday, February 27, 2010
an overall bitchy person: it's like being broken up with over and over again
ok---not gonna lie---today was mostly shitty. i babysat and felt completely depressed and stressed the entire time, but then when it was over i felt like f-ing julia roberts in pretty woman*. not to mention like i was going to cry. couldn't tell you why, but it was like a mini-anxiety attack. then i went to acacia's where videogam-age was occurring and i felt quite literally like a fucking gun should be in my hand [for, the first three hours of babysitting, that's what i watched]. then things got better and it was fun.
now that i've recounted a bunch of intersting stuff for my avid subscribers**, i would like to rant about my dear friend, sonia. what.an.asshole. she's just such an amazing person/friend and she graces me with her presence a ton but then she goes and starts getting all mad at me constantly. recently, we verbally put this out in the open, and she had the nerve to say it's because i've gotten meaner. what the hell? i'm just an overall bitchy person and it stung that she didn't just know/recognize this. it stung hard. like that bee in peiwei. bitchy people have feelings too. and when she's mad at me: it's like being broken up with over and over again. like i know how that feels. anyway, it's just something that's been bugging me and she's gonna read this and hate me more but i'm just saying. you guys know her; how awesome she is. imagine her giving you a look of disgust and then not talking to you for a day -- all the time. it h-h-h-hurtz.
i have a shitload of homework to do tomorrow. a shitload.
*if you don't understand this reference; look it up. you should know this.
** you guys do realize i'm being saracastic when i say shit like that, right? it suddenly occurred to me that it might not translate in writing.
p.s. this was not meant to be a hate-on-sonia rant but rather a please-forgive-me-for-whatever-i-did-now rant. ahem.
now that i've recounted a bunch of intersting stuff for my avid subscribers**, i would like to rant about my dear friend, sonia. what.an.asshole. she's just such an amazing person/friend and she graces me with her presence a ton but then she goes and starts getting all mad at me constantly. recently, we verbally put this out in the open, and she had the nerve to say it's because i've gotten meaner. what the hell? i'm just an overall bitchy person and it stung that she didn't just know/recognize this. it stung hard. like that bee in peiwei. bitchy people have feelings too. and when she's mad at me: it's like being broken up with over and over again. like i know how that feels. anyway, it's just something that's been bugging me and she's gonna read this and hate me more but i'm just saying. you guys know her; how awesome she is. imagine her giving you a look of disgust and then not talking to you for a day -- all the time. it h-h-h-hurtz.
i have a shitload of homework to do tomorrow. a shitload.
*if you don't understand this reference; look it up. you should know this.
** you guys do realize i'm being saracastic when i say shit like that, right? it suddenly occurred to me that it might not translate in writing.
p.s. this was not meant to be a hate-on-sonia rant but rather a please-forgive-me-for-whatever-i-did-now rant. ahem.
Friday, February 26, 2010
story numba 2 plus numba 1's necessary explanation
ok so if it wasn't clear, my table partner was experiencing a hangover. and i thought this was hilarious at the time and laughed out loud. anyway...
story numba 2. clearly, this is going to be about artgirlcrush.
we were all sitting in our seats, in art, when she comes in all hot-and-bothered. she normally comes in like this (late, and with a story to tell her friends, cuz she's that cool), but today she had a story to share with the whole class! naturally, a gigantic grin appeared on my face as i waited for this sure-to-be hilarious tell-all:
girlcrush [she says the whole thing, so i'm not sure why this is here]
ohmygod! i just broke up a fight! these two guys in the hallway were all intense and shit with a huge crowd around them, and i'm like, "waitwaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT!" and i go in between them and put my hands out like this pretends to be pushing the two guys away from each other, and i'm like, "hey now! c'mon guys! we are all on the same team....team USA!. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! [apparently she started chanting USA and got the crowd to do the same!]
ahhhh, she's awesome. it's really depressing though because acacia and i moved spots so we [i] can't hear what she's saying very well anymore. not that we [i] could hear that well before, but now all i do is stare. at her. which is creepy, and we made eye contact. so i tried to stop. but i heard some where that if you're looking at whoever's talking, you can hear them better. it's also kind of sad, because i've been known to yell spazzticly, "shut up!!!" to acacia so that i could listen to my crush speak instead. yeppp. i'm really sad. but i want you guys to hear herrrrrrrrrrrr so badly. and now i'm gonna stop typing cuz this blog is getting retarded.
story numba 2. clearly, this is going to be about artgirlcrush.
we were all sitting in our seats, in art, when she comes in all hot-and-bothered. she normally comes in like this (late, and with a story to tell her friends, cuz she's that cool), but today she had a story to share with the whole class! naturally, a gigantic grin appeared on my face as i waited for this sure-to-be hilarious tell-all:
girlcrush [she says the whole thing, so i'm not sure why this is here]
ohmygod! i just broke up a fight! these two guys in the hallway were all intense and shit with a huge crowd around them, and i'm like, "waitwaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT!" and i go in between them and put my hands out like this pretends to be pushing the two guys away from each other, and i'm like, "hey now! c'mon guys! we are all on the same team....team USA!. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! [apparently she started chanting USA and got the crowd to do the same!]
ahhhh, she's awesome. it's really depressing though because acacia and i moved spots so we [i] can't hear what she's saying very well anymore. not that we [i] could hear that well before, but now all i do is stare. at her. which is creepy, and we made eye contact. so i tried to stop. but i heard some where that if you're looking at whoever's talking, you can hear them better. it's also kind of sad, because i've been known to yell spazzticly, "shut up!!!" to acacia so that i could listen to my crush speak instead. yeppp. i'm really sad. but i want you guys to hear herrrrrrrrrrrr so badly. and now i'm gonna stop typing cuz this blog is getting retarded.
story numba 1
two stories. i feel lame recounting this one, cuz like 89% of you all have heard it before, but for lack of creativity, here we go:
i was in math, squished next to my two table partners, contemplating how long it would take to pluck every hair out of mr. oswald's eyebrow (single). i came up with the answer eternity, when i heard the middle partner (who's got sort of an indie style/look going on, and can pull it off well, unlike some people...) calling out for help. she's looking for an advil she says, and she's desperate. no one has an advil for her, cuz who would possibly have painrelievers on them in math class? oh yeah, i did. i had two ibuprofen in my pocket. not in a baggy. not in a container in my backpack. but just two, individual, little, circular pills. in my pocket. i thought about giving them to her, but then i imagined that we'd have this awkward conversation about why i had them, and if they were real ibuprofen, and why they were warm. so i figured that it was probably best to say, "no, sorry, i don't have an advil."
but then she wouldn't shut up.
she kept asking, and groaning, and grabbing her head. so with an unfamiliar sense of bravery, i said something similar to, "ummmmmm, not to be creepy, but i have these ibuprofen in my pocket...."struggles to get pills out of pocket, spazztically throws them on to the table. to my utter surprise, she said "oh my god you just saved my life!" and downed them, just like that. and then as if to return the favor by making me feel something other than suicidal in math class, she uttered, "ugh. i need to stop going to Thirsty Thurdays."
i was in math, squished next to my two table partners, contemplating how long it would take to pluck every hair out of mr. oswald's eyebrow (single). i came up with the answer eternity, when i heard the middle partner (who's got sort of an indie style/look going on, and can pull it off well, unlike some people...) calling out for help. she's looking for an advil she says, and she's desperate. no one has an advil for her, cuz who would possibly have painrelievers on them in math class? oh yeah, i did. i had two ibuprofen in my pocket. not in a baggy. not in a container in my backpack. but just two, individual, little, circular pills. in my pocket. i thought about giving them to her, but then i imagined that we'd have this awkward conversation about why i had them, and if they were real ibuprofen, and why they were warm. so i figured that it was probably best to say, "no, sorry, i don't have an advil."
but then she wouldn't shut up.
she kept asking, and groaning, and grabbing her head. so with an unfamiliar sense of bravery, i said something similar to, "ummmmmm, not to be creepy, but i have these ibuprofen in my pocket...."struggles to get pills out of pocket, spazztically throws them on to the table. to my utter surprise, she said "oh my god you just saved my life!" and downed them, just like that. and then as if to return the favor by making me feel something other than suicidal in math class, she uttered, "ugh. i need to stop going to Thirsty Thurdays."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
craaaaaaazy mary
today in art we had this substitute who was totally insane. it was....amazingly cliché.
this might be one of those "you just had to be there" things but here's some of the shit that went down:
- to get our attention she started singing. like folk tunes. in a really high voice.
- she told us our directions in a crappy british accent.
- she walked around during work time and gave acacia and i gum because we were the "creepy quite table."
- she talked to my artgirlcrush's table a lot. i don't know why, but when i passed that table she was showing them a picture of her parents from the '60s?
- she called all the boy-students "little man child"
i didn't know what to think, except that it was really funny and i wish it wouldn't have been weird if i started recording it.
what was even more funny was, after the sub had stopped taking attendance in a british accent (except when she tried to say "acacia?" lol) my artgirlcrush was like, "god! she's exactly like me! ..i wanna be a substitute teacher!!" i don't know why but it was funny.
**what is the correct grammar for writing about someone talking about someone talking? i'm just gonna do double quotations?
then later on for some reason they were talking about "cool parents" and my artgirlcrush was like,
this might be one of those "you just had to be there" things but here's some of the shit that went down:
- to get our attention she started singing. like folk tunes. in a really high voice.
- she told us our directions in a crappy british accent.
- she walked around during work time and gave acacia and i gum because we were the "creepy quite table."
- she talked to my artgirlcrush's table a lot. i don't know why, but when i passed that table she was showing them a picture of her parents from the '60s?
- she called all the boy-students "little man child"
i didn't know what to think, except that it was really funny and i wish it wouldn't have been weird if i started recording it.
what was even more funny was, after the sub had stopped taking attendance in a british accent (except when she tried to say "acacia?" lol) my artgirlcrush was like, "god! she's exactly like me! ..i wanna be a substitute teacher!!" i don't know why but it was funny.
**what is the correct grammar for writing about someone talking about someone talking? i'm just gonna do double quotations?
then later on for some reason they were talking about "cool parents" and my artgirlcrush was like,
"yeah i want to be one of those parents who's child comes up to them and says, "hey mom can we hang out on friday?" and then i say, "um no i have a date...with your bestfriend." "
again. may have been one of those "you just had to be there" moments.
Monday, February 22, 2010
nicholas sparks is a satanist.
first, i would like to say that a VERY UNFORTUNATE occurence has taken place: due to my exessive usage of Dell laptops at school, i've started to develop a Windows shortcut habit. IT'S TERRIBLE. instead of doing Apple+C or something, i find myself automatically stretching my pinky to the 'fn' button (on the Mac, but the Control button on a PC) and before i know it, i just fucked up my sentence.
anywhosers.
i've been reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks' novels lately. and by a lot, i mean i'm working on my third one, the notebook.
they all have shitty dialogue,
they all include ridiculous vocabulary that doesn't fit the characters,
they all have men leaving the women for war,
and oh yeah, they all make you cry (whether internally or externally).
that's where the satist part comes in. he makes you work, like really work, to like the characters; to know them. and then he strings you along as you watch shit go to pieces in usually, one sort-of-but-i-guess-not-really mindblowing second. then he 'tugs at your heartstrings' until you're really depressed and then he ends the book with a second draft-type ending.
he is a "fuckin' satist" who hates hormonal teenage girls, that man.
p.s. Courtney: the last song, you will soon come to notice, includes the word DUNE on EVERYFUCKINGPAGE.
p.p.s. what kind of name is 'Nicholas Sparks'?! it has to be a pseudonym. also. guess what? he's not gay!
they all have shitty dialogue,
they all include ridiculous vocabulary that doesn't fit the characters,
they all have men leaving the women for war,
and oh yeah, they all make you cry (whether internally or externally).
that's where the satist part comes in. he makes you work, like really work, to like the characters; to know them. and then he strings you along as you watch shit go to pieces in usually, one sort-of-but-i-guess-not-really mindblowing second. then he 'tugs at your heartstrings' until you're really depressed and then he ends the book with a second draft-type ending.
he is a "fuckin' satist" who hates hormonal teenage girls, that man.
p.s. Courtney: the last song, you will soon come to notice, includes the word DUNE on EVERYFUCKINGPAGE.
p.p.s. what kind of name is 'Nicholas Sparks'?! it has to be a pseudonym. also. guess what? he's not gay!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
religious ref
ok so two very shocking things just happened.
i was en la cocina and i had just microwaved the leftover comida de Indian and had taken all but two bites when my mother, quite literally, grabbed the plate from the table; picked up the fork; said, "oh god this looks delicious!" and proceeded to eat it!
oh. hell. no.
this is how the rest went down:
Me What are you DOING?!?!
Jan Where did you get this?
Me Where do you think?! I just snuck downstairs late last night, when everyone was asleep, and started cooking some of m--
Jan Why are you being so crabby?
Me YOU JUST TOOK MY FOOD!
Jan DO NOT YELL AT ME, MEGHAN! long AWKWARD pause...And oh, I'm sorry. Sets down the plate.
hmf. you think this woman would've retained some manners from her recent dinner party extravaganza.
then! my father informed me that, for insurance purposes, i would definitely be driving the Tahoe (nicknamed the 'Ho' & the 'Pimp Mobile' by my mother) as my primary vehicle when i got my license. the massive, environmentally UNFRIENDLY, chunky, monsterous, insanely hard to drive piece of shit would be my "primary vehicle!"
i informed him that it was against my religion to even step foot in that thing and that i was committing unforgiveable sins everytime a did, so this whole "primary vehicle" thing would be impossible if i ever wanted to get into a good afterlife.
let's just say, he didn't appreciate that religious reference.
i was en la cocina and i had just microwaved the leftover comida de Indian and had taken all but two bites when my mother, quite literally, grabbed the plate from the table; picked up the fork; said, "oh god this looks delicious!" and proceeded to eat it!
oh. hell. no.
this is how the rest went down:
Me What are you DOING?!?!
Jan Where did you get this?
Me Where do you think?! I just snuck downstairs late last night, when everyone was asleep, and started cooking some of m--
Jan Why are you being so crabby?
Me YOU JUST TOOK MY FOOD!
Jan DO NOT YELL AT ME, MEGHAN! long AWKWARD pause...And oh, I'm sorry. Sets down the plate.
hmf. you think this woman would've retained some manners from her recent dinner party extravaganza.
then! my father informed me that, for insurance purposes, i would definitely be driving the Tahoe (nicknamed the 'Ho' & the 'Pimp Mobile' by my mother) as my primary vehicle when i got my license. the massive, environmentally UNFRIENDLY, chunky, monsterous, insanely hard to drive piece of shit would be my "primary vehicle!"
i informed him that it was against my religion to even step foot in that thing and that i was committing unforgiveable sins everytime a did, so this whole "primary vehicle" thing would be impossible if i ever wanted to get into a good afterlife.
let's just say, he didn't appreciate that religious reference.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
interesting to read
today was quite possibly the longest day i've ever experienced. of those that i can remember. which isn't saying much but let me tell ya, it was very long and very boring.
don't get me wrong, i prefer long and boring days to short and stressful days (stressful=embarrasement=excitement=group activities=activity) but...
...it was so long and boring that i don't have any good anecdotes to write on el blogger. and apparently no synonyms for the words 'long' and 'boring.'
that was interesting to read, right?
don't get me wrong, i prefer long and boring days to short and stressful days (stressful=embarrasement=excitement=group activities=activity) but...
...it was so long and boring that i don't have any good anecdotes to write on el blogger. and apparently no synonyms for the words 'long' and 'boring.'
that was interesting to read, right?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
...cuz i was on YouTube
cuz i was on YouTube instead of doing anything relatively CRUCIAL for academic success i found these gems under a Community Channel video:
yeah. they wrote those things after seeing this in her description of the video:
"one more thing"
i forgot to write what that chick said in art today:
remember these are moments where i have to bite my lip and turn around, muffling my laughter. unfortunately, by turning around, i turn towards peter and "ben" who return my spastic move with laughter of their own :(
remember these are moments where i have to bite my lip and turn around, muffling my laughter. unfortunately, by turning around, i turn towards peter and "ben" who return my spastic move with laughter of their own :(
our teacher was talking about a piece of student art where a sickly woman lies on a mountain of pills when
she mutters to her table: "why is she sickly? She should be the happiest woman in the worlddddd!"
it was a late start today so that's all i got.
the following is of most importance:
here are some random thoughts i've had today...i'm too lazy right now to create an actual blog worthy of your attention but still...
- upon seeing the "Stand Up 2 Cancer" commercial for the 5th time (which features a bunch of "talented" celebrities standing up to sad music) i started to get pissed and reverted back to an older blog of mine...i just don't get it sometimes. why do we care that Christina Ricci physically stood up in front of a camera? is that supposed to make me feel something more intense towards cancer? i realize that they're putting their "star power" to good use by promoting cancer research but idk...seems like kind of an insult to cancer sufferers and victims.. c'mon ad guys, shit needs to get real.
- liz asked if i wanted to come live at her house after she referred to the blogs i made over the weekend regarding my home situation. i would just like to clarify that my family does not emotionally abuse me. it just came across that way cuz i was pissed and bored. which is a common excuse of domesticabuse victims but, i be seriousss
- tessa's foreign exchange student seems shy. very shy. this fact seems to give me great motivation to get to know her better retreat to the front seat with courtney. today i got the feeling that these French students are probably experiencing huge headaches. i mean, come on, constantly being bombarded by a foreign language? that would suck. and plus, the oak-land kids didn't get a proper French education so they're no doubt behind their French counterparts...
- i have no idea how i'm going to handle a full day of school tomorrow. prepare yourselves for the inevitable blog-puke spewed all over your computer screen tomorrow afternoon.
- upon seeing the "Stand Up 2 Cancer" commercial for the 5th time (which features a bunch of "talented" celebrities standing up to sad music) i started to get pissed and reverted back to an older blog of mine...i just don't get it sometimes. why do we care that Christina Ricci physically stood up in front of a camera? is that supposed to make me feel something more intense towards cancer? i realize that they're putting their "star power" to good use by promoting cancer research but idk...seems like kind of an insult to cancer sufferers and victims.. c'mon ad guys, shit needs to get real.
- liz asked if i wanted to come live at her house after she referred to the blogs i made over the weekend regarding my home situation. i would just like to clarify that my family does not emotionally abuse me. it just came across that way cuz i was pissed and bored. which is a common excuse of domesticabuse victims but, i be seriousss
- tessa's foreign exchange student seems shy. very shy. this fact seems to give me great motivation to get to know her better retreat to the front seat with courtney. today i got the feeling that these French students are probably experiencing huge headaches. i mean, come on, constantly being bombarded by a foreign language? that would suck. and plus, the oak-land kids didn't get a proper French education so they're no doubt behind their French counterparts...
- i have no idea how i'm going to handle a full day of school tomorrow. prepare yourselves for the inevitable blog-puke spewed all over your computer screen tomorrow afternoon.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
are you kidding me?!
swear to god, i promised myself i was going to log off Blogger and go find some cute guy to fuck today, preferably at a club, but this seriously just happened and i had to share it with y'all:
i had just finished editing my blog entitled "Emoticon" when my mom swiftly walks into my room, unannounced:
Jan Ok, so your dad and i are going to the movie now. Need me to drive you anywhere first?
Me smiles in spite of myself.
Jan I take that as a no, you creeper*? Well, i'll see ya when we get back. it's a long movie. i mean, unless you're gone when we're back...not saying running away "gone" but if you find something to do, feel free to leave... or you could run away? that could be cool. leaves chuckling to herself
*my mom says she "works at an office filled with twenty-somethings and their facebooks" so she picks up phrases like "creeper" and "what the face?" ...and doesn't hold back in using them directly towards her children.
i had just finished editing my blog entitled "Emoticon" when my mom swiftly walks into my room, unannounced:
Jan Ok, so your dad and i are going to the movie now. Need me to drive you anywhere first?
Me smiles in spite of myself.
Jan I take that as a no, you creeper*? Well, i'll see ya when we get back. it's a long movie. i mean, unless you're gone when we're back...not saying running away "gone" but if you find something to do, feel free to leave... or you could run away? that could be cool. leaves chuckling to herself
*my mom says she "works at an office filled with twenty-somethings and their facebooks" so she picks up phrases like "creeper" and "what the face?" ...and doesn't hold back in using them directly towards her children.
Emoticon
Preface
i am very used to being judged by my family. i know there's that whole cliché that your family is your safe place, and you can share anything with them because they will always love and respect you blah blah blah but that's bullshit and everyone knows it.
and being as i'm so used to being ridiculed and judged by them, you would think i would stop taking offense, but the offense-taking has yet to subside. usually, it's mostly my aunts, uncles, and cousins (i don't know why them, particularly, but they enjoy making fun of diet, weight, athleticism, sunglasses/apparel, nerdliness, photogenic-ness, hair, etc.) and coming from my family one would think that i would take their comical-criticism in stride and laugh it off, however, it can really get to you after awhile. but my point is not to garner sympathy from y'all, cuz actually, as i mentioned before, this is all great material for my upcoming humorous memoir. so my real point is....
Chapter II
my real point is my mom constantly seems to judge me for my lack of participation in social activity. i assume, based on stories from my grandma, and her, that she was a "wild child" and consistently got in trouble, for, well, extended social activity. so i understand how seeing her eldest child fall a wee bit behind in that category might concern her some. which, i completely realize has been done before, and this is the beginning of one boring underdog story, but believe it or not my life seems to follow that classic underdog pattern (minus the success later on). anyway, we seem to have the following conversation at least twice a day. please do not interpret her judgement as a pursuit of simple organizational purposes:
jan knocks on my bedroom door, doesn't wait for an answer, opens door: so...meg...what are your plans for today?
me ...i don't know?
jan so*...you do not need me to drive you anywhere...?
me nope..
jan are you sure?
me why..?
jan i really think you should do something. call up some friends. get out of here!
me yeah, maybe...i don't know
jan come on, meg! you should really get out......i'm taking molly to meet up with some friends so i could drop you off somewh..actually, i've never met these friends of hers before. probably boys, right? ...and your room has to be getting stuffy, no? so...
me stares off into space; stressed out expression
jan senses she's done here and leaves room, shuts door....finally.
2-3 hours later i retreat across the hall to pee, and hear muttering from the kitchen. decide to not be paranoid, and just, well, pee...
5 minutes later:
jan doesn't knock this time...what's up?
me stares at her.
jan need me to take you anywhere? no? well, i'm going to O'Malleys to meet some friends...dad's home if you need him to take you anywhere.
me continues to stare.
jan leaves. clearly frustrated.
*despite her dark low-lights, my mom is extremely scandanavian and says "so" every other word.
Chapeter III
i am getting really tired of having that conversation. the offense-taken is starting to build up
Chapter IV
don't worry, i'm done bitterly blogging on d-day... oh, excuse me, v-day.
i know it is indescribably lame and reflects a certain bitterness to blog so much on Valentine's Day but it doesn't count if you're ignoring the holiday, right?
Chapter I
i am very used to being judged by my family. i know there's that whole cliché that your family is your safe place, and you can share anything with them because they will always love and respect you blah blah blah but that's bullshit and everyone knows it.
and being as i'm so used to being ridiculed and judged by them, you would think i would stop taking offense, but the offense-taking has yet to subside. usually, it's mostly my aunts, uncles, and cousins (i don't know why them, particularly, but they enjoy making fun of diet, weight, athleticism, sunglasses/apparel, nerdliness, photogenic-ness, hair, etc.) and coming from my family one would think that i would take their comical-criticism in stride and laugh it off, however, it can really get to you after awhile. but my point is not to garner sympathy from y'all, cuz actually, as i mentioned before, this is all great material for my upcoming humorous memoir. so my real point is....
Chapter II
my real point is my mom constantly seems to judge me for my lack of participation in social activity. i assume, based on stories from my grandma, and her, that she was a "wild child" and consistently got in trouble, for, well, extended social activity. so i understand how seeing her eldest child fall a wee bit behind in that category might concern her some. which, i completely realize has been done before, and this is the beginning of one boring underdog story, but believe it or not my life seems to follow that classic underdog pattern (minus the success later on). anyway, we seem to have the following conversation at least twice a day. please do not interpret her judgement as a pursuit of simple organizational purposes:
jan knocks on my bedroom door, doesn't wait for an answer, opens door: so...meg...what are your plans for today?
me ...i don't know?
jan so*...you do not need me to drive you anywhere...?
me nope..
jan are you sure?
me why..?
jan i really think you should do something. call up some friends. get out of here!
me yeah, maybe...i don't know
jan come on, meg! you should really get out......i'm taking molly to meet up with some friends so i could drop you off somewh..actually, i've never met these friends of hers before. probably boys, right? ...and your room has to be getting stuffy, no? so...
me stares off into space; stressed out expression
jan senses she's done here and leaves room, shuts door....finally.
2-3 hours later i retreat across the hall to pee, and hear muttering from the kitchen. decide to not be paranoid, and just, well, pee...
5 minutes later:
jan doesn't knock this time...what's up?
me stares at her.
jan need me to take you anywhere? no? well, i'm going to O'Malleys to meet some friends...dad's home if you need him to take you anywhere.
me continues to stare.
jan leaves. clearly frustrated.
*despite her dark low-lights, my mom is extremely scandanavian and says "so" every other word.
Chapeter III
i am getting really tired of having that conversation. the offense-taken is starting to build up
Chapter IV
don't worry, i'm done bitterly blogging on d-day... oh, excuse me, v-day.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
hey now
ok so i was reading MyLife's blog post (the name sonia insists on using on el blogger....don't judge, meg, don't judge...) and i came across this paragraph:
also new, my living room. according to megallo the jigallo [i made it rhyme in my head], it's not actually "redoing the whole room" because im just getting new furniture. it's still freaking me out though. we went from these nice, slim, blue futons to these giant brown suede-y couches and its kinda scary and new and and and and different. i sound like a changeaphobic, which i'm usually not, but that room [besides my own], is like the only place i hang out in within my house. i hope i still get to eat on that couch, otherwise i'm gonna eat my dinner downstairs in the basement where my good ol' futon buddies live now.
and i just had to laugh [to myself, alone, on a blogger:( ] because as i was reading it, my mom was downstairs re-painting my kitchen for the 500th time. now that woman knows how to a re-do a whole room. she's done it to each room in the house at least 5 times. which i'm not complaining about, i love change. and her love for change has allowed me to re-do my own vibe-less, personality-less bedroom probably like 6 times and counting. anyway, right now she's painting the beige/yellow/orange color a light green. but don't worry, she's keeping that gross brown color on half the walls cuz she insists it's "all the rage" and "high fashion" despite it being a physical kitchen. with walls. and a floor? and we got new appliances and were getting a new floor soon. sonia, my dear, that's how you redo a room.
but going back to the woman loves change thing: it's actually quite abnormal for a mother to be that way. think about your own mothers for a sec. do they push for change? (besides being Obama supportors) I didn't think so. That's just my mother. my conspiracy theory is that she didn't want to be a mom in the first place. here's the evidentiary clues: she was married to el culo for a whole SIX YEARS before giving birth. and during these SIX YEARS i expect she partied way toooo much (implying drugs and alcohol abuse here). i believe this cuz sometimes she lets these little tidbits of info out that imply just that.
like for instance, just yesterday, she was like "oh yeah. your dad's going out on a date with a guy from college tonight. [the friend] he was like this radical, cool, pothead. you know the type. yeah. and of course i had a crush on him." (please note that when my mom says 'date', she's really saying an outing that dad my goes on with a friend.) anyway, what she implies here is, "of course i had a crush on a pothead cuz i was one bitches!" why was i talking about this again? umm.... oh the woman loves change. she's the kind of mom where there is that distinct possibility she will never come back from getting groceries. lol jkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. or am i? lately all she says is, "ugh, i need a change." or "shit, i really can't do this anymore." a wee bit disturbing to her children.
god where was i going with this? i really should start outlining and drafting before just diving in.
my kitchen's going to be green now.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
coffee house soundtrack
ok this is a completely lame post but i really would like to talk about this topic matter.
first of all i would like to preface this by saying: sonia, you were wrong-- norah jones was cool in 2002, when she won FIVE GRAMMYS and her CD sold OVER 200 MILLON copies. so eat it, bitch. :) (jk idk if you remember saying the contrary, but you did, and you were probably kidding...)
anyway, hearing that norah jones song in Dunn Bros. a week ago made me think of this lingering idea of mine that never goes away. though i'm sure not original, it's a slightly faggish thought, and whenever i talk about it out loud i sound like a pretentious asshole and nobody ever seems to get what i'm talking about. so maybe if i say it in blog-form it will be less asshole-y.
what i'm talking about is that when you first hear a song, rarely, but some times, it stays with you. in your brain, a connection is made between that song and the time, place, and people you were with when you first heard it. and whenever you hear this song, after said connection, a wave of intense nostalgia washes over you: you are brought back to that place, that time, and the people you were with when you first heard the song. i don't know...maybe you guys know what i'm talking about, maybe you don't, but either way it's happened to me a few times quite intensely, and i never know what to think about it...
btw, the norah jones thing is relevant cuz whenever i hear "don't know why"--- despite it's vast current uncoolness, i get all mushy inside...i'm trying to think of the exact place where i first heard it but idk..the stank of nostalgia must be too strong for me to concentrate properly. all i know is, i was probably in the car with my mom and sister driving home from New Horizon. though i know it wasn't the happiest time of my life, the connection between then and now is just too apparent. i don't know, maybe this was too Bohemian of a post for you guys, maybe i'm too much of a music freak. :p
first of all i would like to preface this by saying: sonia, you were wrong-- norah jones was cool in 2002, when she won FIVE GRAMMYS and her CD sold OVER 200 MILLON copies. so eat it, bitch. :) (jk idk if you remember saying the contrary, but you did, and you were probably kidding...)
anyway, hearing that norah jones song in Dunn Bros. a week ago made me think of this lingering idea of mine that never goes away. though i'm sure not original, it's a slightly faggish thought, and whenever i talk about it out loud i sound like a pretentious asshole and nobody ever seems to get what i'm talking about. so maybe if i say it in blog-form it will be less asshole-y.
what i'm talking about is that when you first hear a song, rarely, but some times, it stays with you. in your brain, a connection is made between that song and the time, place, and people you were with when you first heard it. and whenever you hear this song, after said connection, a wave of intense nostalgia washes over you: you are brought back to that place, that time, and the people you were with when you first heard the song. i don't know...maybe you guys know what i'm talking about, maybe you don't, but either way it's happened to me a few times quite intensely, and i never know what to think about it...
btw, the norah jones thing is relevant cuz whenever i hear "don't know why"--- despite it's vast current uncoolness, i get all mushy inside...i'm trying to think of the exact place where i first heard it but idk..the stank of nostalgia must be too strong for me to concentrate properly. all i know is, i was probably in the car with my mom and sister driving home from New Horizon. though i know it wasn't the happiest time of my life, the connection between then and now is just too apparent. i don't know, maybe this was too Bohemian of a post for you guys, maybe i'm too much of a music freak. :p
ay ay
ok so turns out i'm a complete dumbass and a huge dickhead. i know what you're thinking, "yessss godd meg, we established this a long time ago, way to be repetitive on top of it all..."
but cuz i'm both of these things, i tend to do stuff like coax someone into doing something and then completely forget about alltheblogpostsi'vewrittenaboutheperson....what? i'm talking about tessa: i told her to start a blog, and like a retard, i didn't take down the stuff i wrote about her...which sounds worse than it is, but i really do feel stupid.
clarification:
-TexMex can read. and very well at that. she's in 10E bitches. but when i said "tessa doesn't read, right" i was referring to her lack of time to read - she's actually got a filled social life. so filled, that if i were her i'd totally find reading for fun to be completely lame. yet she still manages to read 537 page books in between everything (yes, i looked up how long crank is).
-I don't know what she's feeling/thinking so i shouldn't pretend i do.
ok moving on? alrighty.
here are today's gems by my art-girl-crush (btw, i'm going to start including these every day so get over it i'm in love)
- "me like me some big bananas."
- [when told she couldn't look up porn on the computers in art...] "what?!? the human body is perhaps the most beautiful..."
- "let's go to applebees! should we go to applebees?! yesssss applebeeeees!!"
but cuz i'm both of these things, i tend to do stuff like coax someone into doing something and then completely forget about alltheblogpostsi'vewrittenaboutheperson....what? i'm talking about tessa: i told her to start a blog, and like a retard, i didn't take down the stuff i wrote about her...which sounds worse than it is, but i really do feel stupid.
clarification:
-TexMex can read. and very well at that. she's in 10E bitches. but when i said "tessa doesn't read, right" i was referring to her lack of time to read - she's actually got a filled social life. so filled, that if i were her i'd totally find reading for fun to be completely lame. yet she still manages to read 537 page books in between everything (yes, i looked up how long crank is).
-I don't know what she's feeling/thinking so i shouldn't pretend i do.
ok moving on? alrighty.
here are today's gems by my art-girl-crush (btw, i'm going to start including these every day so get over it i'm in love)
- "me like me some big bananas."
- [when told she couldn't look up porn on the computers in art...] "what?!? the human body is perhaps the most beautiful..."
- "let's go to applebees! should we go to applebees?! yesssss applebeeeees!!"
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
clench (the teeth)
ok, i'm sorry, *grits teeth* this is really pissing me off:
who the hell is that tall?!?! katie fucking holmes, apparently.
who the hell is that tall?!?! katie fucking holmes, apparently.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
desperate cow-swives.
i had a shitty end to my day, but instead of ranting i'm going to go narrative-style.
i climbed those damn bus stairs and met the face of my satist bus driver. "good morning," he said. i politely replyed "good morning to you too, sir," even though i was fully aware that it was 2:20 in the afternoon. i saw the familiar faces of the bus and ignored every one of them, settling into the second seat on the left. i experienced a short flashback to the events that had proceeded just two minutes prior in my spacious skull, and spazztically turned around, awkwardly sitting on my knee, to talk to courtney and tessa --- hoping to escape my sad inner dialogue. it was distracting, enough. no it wasn't. i bantered with them for a while, but couldn't help the self-obsessed vomit leaking out of my lips. i sought their advice about something i could do to "blow of steam" that didn't involve the cliché teenage vices. this led to a (humorous?) argument pertaining treadmills and i was back to the visions of awkardness dancing in my head.
i got home and obtained that sports bra. you know, the one i'm so proud to wear, thinking i was going to use it (ew... that might not have been the best way to describe it....), but instead settled into my normal routine. and now the feeling of grinding hips with two other people (not the good way) is floating out of my memory bank:
the anxious feeling had been twisting in my stomach all day. i know it's completely neurotic to have such an intense fear of crowds, but if you were me you'd totally understand - something inevitably will happen, in said crowd, which will proceed to haunt my "memory bank" most frequently. i waited to get to the field house (as señor williams insists is another name for the gymnasium) from my english room and could feel the water in my stomach sloshing. i walked into the gym and saw the ginormous crowd. gurgle. i finally got settled into a spot on the end (even though i was so close to the front that i started trembling from memories of basketballs past slamming into my face) and was somewhat satisfied. but that's when someone's ex decides to sit on the stairs next to me. being that he has a penis, i naturally became redder in the face than my normal piggily-head. some part of my body was already touching like three other people and i started anxiously strattling my backpact as he sat on the stair. our hips touched and i became fully aware of how my intensly-awkward feeling was making itself exteriorly known. he was hooked on the basketball game and as he jossled with excitement, our hips banged together (again, sooo dirty i know, but we had jeans in between) in the most uncomfortable way.
obviously, i wasn't going to keep up with the sporting event that was currently occuring, so i looked around at the other trillion faces in the gym. naturally, i found the familiar ones first. but as i looked around, a decidely traumatic thought made itself known: why am i the only uncomfortable one? sure, i undeniably had the worst seat in the house, but why did no one else feel as retarded as i did? everyone had a goofy smile on their face like they were actually enjoying the h-i-g-h-s-c-h-o-o-l a-s-s-e-m-b-l-y. those fuckers.
i climbed those damn bus stairs and met the face of my satist bus driver. "good morning," he said. i politely replyed "good morning to you too, sir," even though i was fully aware that it was 2:20 in the afternoon. i saw the familiar faces of the bus and ignored every one of them, settling into the second seat on the left. i experienced a short flashback to the events that had proceeded just two minutes prior in my spacious skull, and spazztically turned around, awkwardly sitting on my knee, to talk to courtney and tessa --- hoping to escape my sad inner dialogue. it was distracting, enough. no it wasn't. i bantered with them for a while, but couldn't help the self-obsessed vomit leaking out of my lips. i sought their advice about something i could do to "blow of steam" that didn't involve the cliché teenage vices. this led to a (humorous?) argument pertaining treadmills and i was back to the visions of awkardness dancing in my head.
i got home and obtained that sports bra. you know, the one i'm so proud to wear, thinking i was going to use it (ew... that might not have been the best way to describe it....), but instead settled into my normal routine. and now the feeling of grinding hips with two other people (not the good way) is floating out of my memory bank:
the anxious feeling had been twisting in my stomach all day. i know it's completely neurotic to have such an intense fear of crowds, but if you were me you'd totally understand - something inevitably will happen, in said crowd, which will proceed to haunt my "memory bank" most frequently. i waited to get to the field house (as señor williams insists is another name for the gymnasium) from my english room and could feel the water in my stomach sloshing. i walked into the gym and saw the ginormous crowd. gurgle. i finally got settled into a spot on the end (even though i was so close to the front that i started trembling from memories of basketballs past slamming into my face) and was somewhat satisfied. but that's when someone's ex decides to sit on the stairs next to me. being that he has a penis, i naturally became redder in the face than my normal piggily-head. some part of my body was already touching like three other people and i started anxiously strattling my backpact as he sat on the stair. our hips touched and i became fully aware of how my intensly-awkward feeling was making itself exteriorly known. he was hooked on the basketball game and as he jossled with excitement, our hips banged together (again, sooo dirty i know, but we had jeans in between) in the most uncomfortable way.
obviously, i wasn't going to keep up with the sporting event that was currently occuring, so i looked around at the other trillion faces in the gym. naturally, i found the familiar ones first. but as i looked around, a decidely traumatic thought made itself known: why am i the only uncomfortable one? sure, i undeniably had the worst seat in the house, but why did no one else feel as retarded as i did? everyone had a goofy smile on their face like they were actually enjoying the h-i-g-h-s-c-h-o-o-l a-s-s-e-m-b-l-y. those fuckers.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
he's extra salty
because i'm such a sexual being ("WARNING! this blog may be unsu...") but i'm not the kind of girl that would share her turn-ons with the world (how scandalous!) i'm going to share my turn-offs with the world. please note, courtney, that these apply to highschool boys too (ahemmmm).
so i was watching the pilot of Friday Night Lights instead of doing my homework this afternoon. and while watching i not only took notice of the general spectacular-ness of the show, but of Coach Taylor's fingernails. most men don't take care of their fingernails and i find it to be quite the turn-off. anyway, I had already found Coach Taylor to be physically appealing, and this was just icing on the cake: his fingernails? beautifully shapen and clean, with perfect cuticles to boot! now to most girls my age, Coach Taylor is just an old man (he's played by Kyle Chandler, age 44) but I'm very mature and have been known to take a liking to men of certain....experience (like the best friend in Juno--except not with teachers, just older men. well, sometimes with teachers) ...where was i going with this?
oh yeah, my turn-offs, which can be applied to all males (i took out all the normal turnoffs that most girls [or homosexual boys] don't like and stuck with my weird ones):
- gross fingernails: 'nuf said. (or...is that just me...?)
- socks: i just don't like the look of them. like, how hard are they to hide?
- briefs: even grosser than whitie-tighties...please guys, stick with boxers (halla!)
- moles: it takes all my power not to look at them...ickkk
- speedos: most females would enjoy a tightly displayed package, but i just find these to be very feminine
- over-gelled hair: i don't want to know he tried that hard
look at those eyesssss & fingernails[coach taylor]
so i was watching the pilot of Friday Night Lights instead of doing my homework this afternoon. and while watching i not only took notice of the general spectacular-ness of the show, but of Coach Taylor's fingernails. most men don't take care of their fingernails and i find it to be quite the turn-off. anyway, I had already found Coach Taylor to be physically appealing, and this was just icing on the cake: his fingernails? beautifully shapen and clean, with perfect cuticles to boot! now to most girls my age, Coach Taylor is just an old man (he's played by Kyle Chandler, age 44) but I'm very mature and have been known to take a liking to men of certain....experience (like the best friend in Juno--except not with teachers, just older men. well, sometimes with teachers) ...where was i going with this?
oh yeah, my turn-offs, which can be applied to all males (i took out all the normal turnoffs that most girls [or homosexual boys] don't like and stuck with my weird ones):
- gross fingernails: 'nuf said. (or...is that just me...?)
- socks: i just don't like the look of them. like, how hard are they to hide?
- briefs: even grosser than whitie-tighties...please guys, stick with boxers (halla!)
- moles: it takes all my power not to look at them...ickkk
- speedos: most females would enjoy a tightly displayed package, but i just find these to be very feminine
- over-gelled hair: i don't want to know he tried that hard
look at those eyesssss & fingernails[coach taylor]
Saturday, February 6, 2010
groan, rush, groan.
wake up to someone shoveling outside. god my house has the thinist walls. had some scary nyquil-induced dreams. actually glad to be awake.
still in bed, i listen for telling noises: my parent's shower is running. i hear my mom's voice in the kitchen.
i rush out of my bed and downstairs, as i've put two & two together and figured out my dad's in the shower - got to get something to eat before he gets out. i push aside the nagging thought that i'm really fucked up for constantly planning my in-house actions around avoiding my dad.
i get to the kitchen. molly's up. she groans when she sees me.
mom says, "you want to go to target with us?" molly groans louder. i say, "yes."; rush to get ready.
we go. mom looks at converse brand plaid shirts at target, molly at home decor. i stand there wondering why the hell i came. again. molly and mom look at eyelash curlers. i find a book- another nicholas sparks one (great). i stand around some more. i get a frappacino from the starbucks and ask mom if i can wait in the car. i go to the car with my mocha-frap and turn on KS95. depressing song is on. i wait. they come out of target after 10 minutes with a mountain of home decor: molly's fav. she's pms-ing so my mom is trying to pull her "out of her funk," as she says, by buying her shit. i start the CR-V's engine. mom asks if molly wants a jamba juice. i groan. we drive home. my dad is standing in the kitchen, mouth open, staring off into space (looking like a retard, but really listening to the sport-talk-radio that's on.) i groan again, run up to my room to blog.
still in bed, i listen for telling noises: my parent's shower is running. i hear my mom's voice in the kitchen.
i rush out of my bed and downstairs, as i've put two & two together and figured out my dad's in the shower - got to get something to eat before he gets out. i push aside the nagging thought that i'm really fucked up for constantly planning my in-house actions around avoiding my dad.
i get to the kitchen. molly's up. she groans when she sees me.
mom says, "you want to go to target with us?" molly groans louder. i say, "yes."; rush to get ready.
we go. mom looks at converse brand plaid shirts at target, molly at home decor. i stand there wondering why the hell i came. again. molly and mom look at eyelash curlers. i find a book- another nicholas sparks one (great). i stand around some more. i get a frappacino from the starbucks and ask mom if i can wait in the car. i go to the car with my mocha-frap and turn on KS95. depressing song is on. i wait. they come out of target after 10 minutes with a mountain of home decor: molly's fav. she's pms-ing so my mom is trying to pull her "out of her funk," as she says, by buying her shit. i start the CR-V's engine. mom asks if molly wants a jamba juice. i groan. we drive home. my dad is standing in the kitchen, mouth open, staring off into space (looking like a retard, but really listening to the sport-talk-radio that's on.) i groan again, run up to my room to blog.
Friday, February 5, 2010
creativity killed the cat
remember that shpeil (shpeil?) i wrote about youtube comments? well if you don't that's completely understandable and very normal of you so i'll recap here: they're creepy and sometimes utterly disturbing and i try to avoid them as much as possible.
yes, people actually wrote these.
ok so i was watching a music video for my new favorite song "after hours" (and btw i fell in love with the band watching this video) and found some uber creepy comments that i thought i'd share with you, just to like revisit my old rant:
Thursday, February 4, 2010
being superbly self-conscious; being me.
ok. i have no idea if you guys are judging me or not (or rather, to what extent you are judging me) but i thought i'd write this to make my conscience feel better. after you're done leading your fabulous life filled with social activity for the day and possibly possibly maybe by chance go on to your blog and note that that Meghan girl has written four blogs today, none of significance, i want you to read this:
none of the below blog posts are significant, important, witty, charming, or cutesy in any way and i implore you to not bother reading them. if you do, i implore you once more to seek psychiatric guidance.
how do you 'monetize' something like this?
i realized today that i really need to get my license. the freedom that comes with having a license will be insane. i can't wait. but i have to practice parallel parking first. fuck! i have no motivation to practice whatsoever, so i'm guessing i'll get my license around this time next year. i'm retarded. retarded is an incredibly offensive thing to say but for some reason i keep using it like an ignorant asshole. this is a dense and random blog but i'm just gonna keep going cuz what? i'm retarded. ohhhhhhhhhhhbother. i also realized today that a person is gonna die before she accomplishes any of her insanely high goals. she's just so intense i'm afraid she'll just drop dead any day now of heart complications. today in ap, i was fortunate enough to be in her group, and was just shocked at how some one can be that...intense. i feel bad for her. she needs some serious counseling. i feel really dead. just like heavy, dead. god this is a sucky feeling to have. i can totally relate to court's most recent blog and found it quite insightful: every one feels the same way, but no one wants to be around some one who shows their feelings so we all walk around numb. it made me think that i'm really selfish because all i do is express my feelings in pissy-face form. it's insane how poetic she put it tho. i can't believe that girl. maybe she got it from a book. i'm writing about her like this cuz i'm almost one hundred percent sure she wont even bother reading this one because it's so dense and boring and pointless to read - so if anybody with an ounce of a life is reading this i suggest stopping immediately. i like writing so this blog isn't being made for an audience. molly's being really bitchy lately. i bet she's on her period. god that's such a sexist thing to say but i truly have my suspicions this time. not that i think about my sisters menstrual cycle a lot, or at all, it's just one of those things you say when a girl is being really bitchy. see? sexist. god i hate my life. why is it so...ugh what's that feeling that everyone feels but no one talks about because everyone walks around numb? goddddddd i feel like doing something but as soon as i start i know i'll just give up. that shows a healthy way of thinking does it not? lol get it? like healthy as in mental health but also physical health cuz i'm not exercising? oh good times. oooh i know i can write about my girl crush in art! she's so cool and funny. i'm not saying she's hot, cuz court confirmed to me that girl crush is a well used humorous term that doesn't imply any lesbionic tendencies. which is good. oh god i should stop nowwill i even publish this hot mess of a blog ughhhhhhhhhhh
urban cowboy
well it happened again. i was on the bus and i thought i was saying something totally relevant to tessa but it came out really stupid. the weird part is, when i'm saying the stupid thing, she hangs on to my every word like she actually cares about my dumbass opinion. i should really start that whole think-before-you-talk thing everyone does..
yesterday i was really proud of myself because i did a totally proactive afternoon routine. so today when i got home, i was super inspired, however this time i failed miserably. i thought ok, i'll do my homework, i won't pig out, i'll shower so i can straighten my hair tonight, i won't pig out, then i'll exercise! and won't pig out some more. yeah, right.
i put on my sports bra (i only own one --- i'm not active) and feel suuuper cool. i can do this. i put on a shirt, cuz i'm civilized, some shorts and socks and walk down to my basement to "work out." i didn't exactly think through the process of how i was going to "work out" but i was acting like it. so i get down there and sit to put on my tennis shoes and then---- completely collapse. i start going thru in my mind what "working out" would mean: putting on shoes, turning on the treadmill, running. what the hell? i thought, i'm not gonna do that! so i go upstairs and get myself some chocolate-brownie ice cream and sit down with the computer to see what Guiliana Rancic and Ashton Kutcher have tweeted today. oh, my self-esteem is thru the roof right now!
but as i sat down with my brownie ice cream and oreo (yes i restrained: only one oreo), i thought hey, if i do this then maybe i'll feel so guilty i'll have to work out! yes! what a brilliant plan. well, it's been twenty minutes and still nothing. i guess tomorrow will be big sweatshirt day.
yesterday i was really proud of myself because i did a totally proactive afternoon routine. so today when i got home, i was super inspired, however this time i failed miserably. i thought ok, i'll do my homework, i won't pig out, i'll shower so i can straighten my hair tonight, i won't pig out, then i'll exercise! and won't pig out some more. yeah, right.
i put on my sports bra (i only own one --- i'm not active) and feel suuuper cool. i can do this. i put on a shirt, cuz i'm civilized, some shorts and socks and walk down to my basement to "work out." i didn't exactly think through the process of how i was going to "work out" but i was acting like it. so i get down there and sit to put on my tennis shoes and then---- completely collapse. i start going thru in my mind what "working out" would mean: putting on shoes, turning on the treadmill, running. what the hell? i thought, i'm not gonna do that! so i go upstairs and get myself some chocolate-brownie ice cream and sit down with the computer to see what Guiliana Rancic and Ashton Kutcher have tweeted today. oh, my self-esteem is thru the roof right now!
but as i sat down with my brownie ice cream and oreo (yes i restrained: only one oreo), i thought hey, if i do this then maybe i'll feel so guilty i'll have to work out! yes! what a brilliant plan. well, it's been twenty minutes and still nothing. i guess tomorrow will be big sweatshirt day.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"ehh, let's just call it done, i have very low standards"
firstly, i want to get this off my chest:
i hate that i always always always say the wrong thing around tessa*. it never fails. she'll say something compelling and i'll try to respond with something i think is purely relevant, but once i blurt it out i immediately regret it. for instance, today she said she no longer was friends with someone. i found this utterly shocking, but instead of saying some form of that i said, "oh yeah i can see that. honestly, when i talk to her, it doesn't really seem like she wants to be your friend anymore either." what the hell? what kind of bitch says something like that? i tried to cover it up by acting like a flustered spaz and retracting my statement (by literally saying, "i wish to retract my earlier statement!" ---what a nerd), but it was too late, and i saw the effect of my statement already grabbing hold of her immediate emotions. fuckme. court can back me up on this. why do you always seem to witness my spazzamattacks with tessa? it's odd...
*i kind of hope tessa doesn't read this.... we were talking on the bus today and she said she was going to start a blog... but she doesn't read right? please comment with your thoughts CourtTV
i hate that i always always always say the wrong thing around tessa*. it never fails. she'll say something compelling and i'll try to respond with something i think is purely relevant, but once i blurt it out i immediately regret it. for instance, today she said she no longer was friends with someone. i found this utterly shocking, but instead of saying some form of that i said, "oh yeah i can see that. honestly, when i talk to her, it doesn't really seem like she wants to be your friend anymore either." what the hell? what kind of bitch says something like that? i tried to cover it up by acting like a flustered spaz and retracting my statement (by literally saying, "i wish to retract my earlier statement!" ---what a nerd), but it was too late, and i saw the effect of my statement already grabbing hold of her immediate emotions. fuckme. court can back me up on this. why do you always seem to witness my spazzamattacks with tessa? it's odd...
*i kind of hope tessa doesn't read this.... we were talking on the bus today and she said she was going to start a blog... but she doesn't read right? please comment with your thoughts CourtTV
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
on behalf of all my fellow lepers
*my writing differs in POV thru out this but i don't care...enough to fix it at this point
i apologize. i know i'm one hot mess lately and i'm sorry you have to look at me. i blame it on the a-a-alcoh--- on my terrible immune system. i have the immune system of someone who's just contracted HIV.
it's like it's on its own fucked up schedule, and it never fails to miss a class. ever since 7th grade i've contracted the common cold, or the awkward disease as i've now deemed it, about three times a year for a period ranging from 2-4 weeks, or 5 weeks (case in point: the beginning of 8th grade- i set my own personal record!). not only does it never go away, but it always comes on during the worst possible time (i.e. the first day of school, coincidence? i think not.) also, seeing as its length is ridiculously long, it means i have such a shitty immune system that my body can never quite get rid of the virus (hence the HIV joke, which b-t-dubs, you should never kid about in public).
i haven't even had a full week of it yet and i'm already sick of the misery it's caused me.
i want the following things to end immediately following vnn:
- being the sniffle (more like snort) person, who's constantly gotta do just that while fellow studious pupils try to work and/or listen.
- being the person who distracts everyone by getting up to retrieve a kleenex (not a tissue; a kleenex).
- being the person who when you look at, you immediately want to look away, but you can't - cuz it's rude and they insist on talking.
- being the person that insists on talking despite the fact you not only sound gross but feel gross in knowing people have to look at you.
- being the person who jolts you awake from your in-class nap with their obnoxious coughing.
- being the person who desperately needs to clear their throat but is afraid that it will gross people out.
- being the person who you have to tell has a little somethin' somethin' there (and you're not talking about their sexiness and/or booty.)
- being the gross girl who's immediately deemed not cool because she has "allergies" (i.e. that chick from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide)
finito.
on the plus side, there's always meds (speaking of which---i just want to clarify that i was not suggesting that i abuse nyquil in my previous blog...i just use the recommended dosage and like it.)
i apologize. i know i'm one hot mess lately and i'm sorry you have to look at me. i blame it on the a-a-alcoh--- on my terrible immune system. i have the immune system of someone who's just contracted HIV.
it's like it's on its own fucked up schedule, and it never fails to miss a class. ever since 7th grade i've contracted the common cold, or the awkward disease as i've now deemed it, about three times a year for a period ranging from 2-4 weeks, or 5 weeks (case in point: the beginning of 8th grade- i set my own personal record!). not only does it never go away, but it always comes on during the worst possible time (i.e. the first day of school, coincidence? i think not.) also, seeing as its length is ridiculously long, it means i have such a shitty immune system that my body can never quite get rid of the virus (hence the HIV joke, which b-t-dubs, you should never kid about in public).
i haven't even had a full week of it yet and i'm already sick of the misery it's caused me.
i want the following things to end immediately following vnn:
- being the sniffle (more like snort) person, who's constantly gotta do just that while fellow studious pupils try to work and/or listen.
- being the person who distracts everyone by getting up to retrieve a kleenex (not a tissue; a kleenex).
- being the person who when you look at, you immediately want to look away, but you can't - cuz it's rude and they insist on talking.
- being the person that insists on talking despite the fact you not only sound gross but feel gross in knowing people have to look at you.
- being the person who jolts you awake from your in-class nap with their obnoxious coughing.
- being the person who desperately needs to clear their throat but is afraid that it will gross people out.
- being the person who you have to tell has a little somethin' somethin' there (and you're not talking about their sexiness and/or booty.)
- being the gross girl who's immediately deemed not cool because she has "allergies" (i.e. that chick from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide)
finito.
on the plus side, there's always meds (speaking of which---i just want to clarify that i was not suggesting that i abuse nyquil in my previous blog...i just use the recommended dosage and like it.)
Monday, February 1, 2010
oh lord help her
also, i'd like to share this tidbit with you before it gets lost in a sea of nyquil:
i feel personally responsible for the destruction of the rainforest(s?). i've used soooo many tissues as of late, i'm thinking of turning myself directly into Gore. perhaps i'll buy an old fashioned hankey... but then i'd have to waste lots of water washing it (another precious resource...but due to g.warm*, i guess we have plenty of it, what with ice melting everywhere...)
anyway, taking personal responsibility for the destruction of the world's natural resources is something that's really quite heavy, what with it resting on my flabby shoulders, so i'm turning in for the night (painfully early btw**, for anyone with an ounce of cool).
*yes, yes, i did make a nickname for global warming --deal with it.
**my sister has started using this phrase in non-text life; she says "b-t-dubs" every other sentence. it's quite odd and annoying. not unlike her calling my time with the computer "megHAN's special porn time". where does she get this shit?
i feel personally responsible for the destruction of the rainforest(s?). i've used soooo many tissues as of late, i'm thinking of turning myself directly into Gore. perhaps i'll buy an old fashioned hankey... but then i'd have to waste lots of water washing it (another precious resource...but due to g.warm*, i guess we have plenty of it, what with ice melting everywhere...)
anyway, taking personal responsibility for the destruction of the world's natural resources is something that's really quite heavy, what with it resting on my flabby shoulders, so i'm turning in for the night (painfully early btw**, for anyone with an ounce of cool).
*yes, yes, i did make a nickname for global warming --deal with it.
**my sister has started using this phrase in non-text life; she says "b-t-dubs" every other sentence. it's quite odd and annoying. not unlike her calling my time with the computer "megHAN's special porn time". where does she get this shit?
yesssssssss
ladies and gentlemen (i gots to remember to stop calling the internet this), i remembered!
ok. because i'm [self-professed] obsessed myself (i bet that was cool to read), i seem to be constantly talking about my blog to you people. and everytime i hear myself say, "hey did you read my blog?" which happened about 6 trillion times today, i want to hit myself for being such a constant asshole.
so this is me pleading my case: i can't stop. so please don't feel the need to lie to me. if you haven't seen my blog (which i can totally see as a possibility), do NOT feel the need to say "yes" when i ask "hey did you see my blog?". please just confront me and say, "meg, you're being a total asshole. shut up." if you do this i will celebrate your glory forever and ever 'cause you just got me to stop talking about myself (and said blog.)
yay! i remembered!
ok. because i'm [self-professed] obsessed myself (i bet that was cool to read), i seem to be constantly talking about my blog to you people. and everytime i hear myself say, "hey did you read my blog?" which happened about 6 trillion times today, i want to hit myself for being such a constant asshole.
so this is me pleading my case: i can't stop. so please don't feel the need to lie to me. if you haven't seen my blog (which i can totally see as a possibility), do NOT feel the need to say "yes" when i ask "hey did you see my blog?". please just confront me and say, "meg, you're being a total asshole. shut up." if you do this i will celebrate your glory forever and ever 'cause you just got me to stop talking about myself (and said blog.)
yay! i remembered!
dear daughters of the american revolution,
today was shitty. liz commented on my shitty day. what else is new?
i think i set up Speak for sonia way too much. it's not that good. i'm just obsessive. i'm pretty sure she's clear on that though.
i spent an hour straigtening my hair tonight...still looks like shit. i think i ruined my chi.
took some nyquil. apparently it's lost it's effect on me. speaking of which, i'm very frightened of what ragan thinks of me now. it can't be good.
i feel fat. i look fat. blurg! as liz lemon of 30 rock would say.
i started off this blog with a point....but got lost somewhere around "american revolution"... maybe nyquil still does have an effect on me. cool.
i'm glad gym class is over for the rest of my life *knock on wood*.
i'm glad...i'm glad...i'm glad there's quite seriously a constant ringing in my ears now ...right.
what was my point? i'm sure i'll think of it once i close up shop.......... 'something to look forward to, i guess.
ooh- i'm glad i made tessa laugh today right before her apparent tears spilled out of her eyes. that was pretty cool of me; go meg.
i really want to subscribe to entertainment magazine. it's way cooler than tv guide magazine. maybe i could be the chick who carries around entertainment magazine everywhere instead of the chick who's in a constant state of pissy, or whatever i appear (or not appear, rather) to be.
i honestly had a point when i started this.
i think i set up Speak for sonia way too much. it's not that good. i'm just obsessive. i'm pretty sure she's clear on that though.
i spent an hour straigtening my hair tonight...still looks like shit. i think i ruined my chi.
took some nyquil. apparently it's lost it's effect on me. speaking of which, i'm very frightened of what ragan thinks of me now. it can't be good.
i feel fat. i look fat. blurg! as liz lemon of 30 rock would say.
i started off this blog with a point....but got lost somewhere around "american revolution"... maybe nyquil still does have an effect on me. cool.
i'm glad gym class is over for the rest of my life *knock on wood*.
i'm glad...i'm glad...i'm glad there's quite seriously a constant ringing in my ears now ...right.
what was my point? i'm sure i'll think of it once i close up shop.......... 'something to look forward to, i guess.
ooh- i'm glad i made tessa laugh today right before her apparent tears spilled out of her eyes. that was pretty cool of me; go meg.
i really want to subscribe to entertainment magazine. it's way cooler than tv guide magazine. maybe i could be the chick who carries around entertainment magazine everywhere instead of the chick who's in a constant state of pissy, or whatever i appear (or not appear, rather) to be.
i honestly had a point when i started this.
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