nicholas sparks is a satanist.

first, i would like to say that a VERY UNFORTUNATE occurence has taken place: due to my exessive usage of Dell laptops at school, i've started to develop a Windows shortcut habit. IT'S TERRIBLE. instead of doing Apple+C or something, i find myself automatically stretching my pinky to the 'fn' button (on the Mac, but the Control button on a PC) and before i know it, i just fucked up my sentence.

anywhosers. 

i've been reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks' novels lately. and by a lot, i mean i'm working on my third one, the notebook.

they all have shitty dialogue,
they all include ridiculous vocabulary that doesn't fit the characters,
they all have men leaving the women for war,
and oh yeah, they all make you cry (whether internally or externally).

that's where the satist part comes in. he makes you work, like really work, to like the characters; to know them. and then he strings you along as you watch shit go to pieces in usually, one sort-of-but-i-guess-not-really mindblowing second. then he 'tugs at your heartstrings' until you're really depressed and then he ends the book with a second draft-type ending.

he is a "fuckin' satist" who hates hormonal teenage girls, that man.


p.s. Courtney: the last song, you will soon come to notice, includes the word DUNE on EVERYFUCKINGPAGE.


p.p.s. what kind of name is 'Nicholas Sparks'?! it has to be a pseudonym. also. guess what? he's not gay!