let me talk in parentheses for a while

ok, before you get your soiled panties in a twist, remember that i love magazines. i love reading featured stories and devouring entertainment weekly, especially if it's got a huge celebrity as the main story. i've also been known to skip library studying to sneak a peak at the magazine section, and i've also been known to feel completely heartbroken if i don't catch a movie that i've seen a celebrity promote a lot.

keep that in mind, motherfuckers.

(deep breath) so i was reading kristen stewart's interview/article in vogue, and she said something (many things) that really bothered me. she said that "masses of girls identified with bella in a really profound way." huh? profound? THEY WANTED TO BE HER. THEY WANTED TO BE IN THAT FUCKED UP TRIANGLE WHERE TWO HOT-ASS GUYS STRAINED AND STRAINED TO BONE THE SHIT OUT OF HER. i know this because i used to like twilight. a lot. it was the summer before ninth grade and sarah had just gotten her hands on breaking dawn, and it really sucked ass because we were on a mission trip in the middle of nowhere and she wouldn't pay me any attention (cunt). my curiosity got the better of me and i started reading the books and loved them; couldn't stop. at first i thought it was just the suspense of them. but then i came to the (slow) realization that the books suck shit, and culminated, is probably the worse collection of writing ever to be published (and so successfully sold.) what was the actual reason i liked them? ...that was the question that haunted me. then the first movie came out and i knew: the guys are hot. i want to fuck those guys. i want to be bella and i want a guy to love me like that and i want to bone him in reward.

hmm. profound?

we all want to bone those guys whether we'll admit it (courtney) or not (erin). it is not profound. unless you call the tragedy that is minnesota-suburban-teenage-girl-sex-deprivation, poetic.




is my horniness showing?