you know you are a shit babysitter when...

• the 8 year old out-smarts you. twice. 
• the 6 year old shudders and pulls back when you go in for the hug
• you don't eat beforehand, because hey, they have food there. better food. 
• you consistenly finish each child's dinner... you: "well, if you're not gonna eat that then---" child: "wait!" you: "ooooh too late, sorry dude, already ate it."
• the children are entertained by the television, and the television alone. child: "[your name], will you play---" you: "shhhh! i'm trying to read your dad's latest issue of Time"
• the mom "forgets" to pay you
• the mom is still asking you questions about your stay as you walk steadily down their driveway