grand ol' time

okay this whole homeworkbabysittingchoresweekend is really starting to get to me. arg.

where's courtney? it concerns me that she hasn't posted as of late.

i got me some more masculine shoes:





but they're pretty much bomb, so i don't really care.


girl scout meetings can suck my apparent dick. we sit around awkardly for most of the time, until sarah starts to come out of her huge-social-life-daze and starts sexually assulting one of us under the table. mhm.

usually, i'm the only one really listening, and the leaders of the gang know it. so they look at me. and it's awkward. sonia usually shows up late or not at all, and until she does i sit there looking from my lap, to the stupid faces of the table, to back down at my lap. it's a grand ol' time.

i'm quite proud of this one

i need to get some more feminine shoes. seriously, i look down and sometimes think, how butch am i? other times, i'm like damn girl, but that's another issue.


here are the shoes that i choose to wear constantly:

1. beat up converse


2. blue vans, as featured here on zac efron. ...who's a male.


3. "classic emo shoes" as a certain retard-poser calls them or "vans" as i call them.
 

4.  ...that's about all i choose to wear. anyway, i want to wear shoes that make me look female, but these are all i like and so yeah. maybe summer i'll wear sandals. this was very interesting, i'm quite proud of this one.

whatup

why my mom sucks at being a driving coach/instructor:

she doesn't pay attention. if i'm in a stressful situation and frantically yell, "what do i do??" she usually replies with a "huh?" followed by a long pause in which she appears to assess where she is, and then tells me what to do.

she cracks "jokes." i was pulling into a tiny parking space in the crowded noodles parking lot, going real-slow-like, when she shouts, "OH! don't hit the beemer!!" and i'm like, "what? that's a beemer??" and she's like, "yes!! if you must hit a car, it should be the Acura to the left." and then she and my sister laugh and laugh at me as i start crying carefully finish pulling in to the spot [woaaaah dirty].

she cracks more inappropriate jokes that thoroughly distract me from the task at hand [WHICH IS FUCKING DRIVING A MOTOR VEHICLE!!!]. for instance, i was driving out of the noodles parking lot and nearly hit another car cuz i said, "oh, that's where we ate last night [pointing to papa murphy's]" and then she replied, "ahh yes, you know, they're famous for their world-class urine soaked crust."






also p.s. my sister said something today [while in the car of course] that i think embodies how different we are:

"i need to get more Maroon 5 on my iPod."

"story of my life"

quick anecdote:

i woke up at 8:30 ON A SATURDAY to start chores. i had just finished my first cup of coffee when i remembered i had to babysit. damn, but when? what was the time i had to babysit at? i looked towards the counter, where a day earlier a paper had laid with the babysit time. unfortunately, no such paper exists at the present. i scrambled around for about... 1 and 1/2 minutes until i realized it was gone forever. 

i sucked it up, and i called the babysittees (well, their parents). 

prior to the actual call, i had rehearsed and written down what exactly i was going to say so that A.) I didn't sound like the fool i always sound like on the phone with people and B.) i didn't sound like an inept babysitter who couldn't handle a piece of paper let alone her offspring. 

the phone call went terribly, starting with the client laughing at the weird sound i made when she said that the kids were "really cute" and ending with me muttering incessant curses to myself as i clicked "end call."

story of my life. 

next:

what i like to call the purebred mixture of Lutheran and Norweigan Guilt, Luthwegian, which resides in my mother's brain, waiting to pounce on the next bored, stupid child who screws up. 

my mother: "so...when did you get home last night?"

me: "ummm... my phone died! i told you that! didn't you get a text from sonia's phone?"

my mother: "no...no i did not...so... well, it would've been nice to know where you were last night...i mean, i know you were safe but...a simple text would have been ok...so...i kept looking at my phone all night...just waiting for a simple text...i kept looking...maybe i didn't see it or i thought it was spam...so... what time did you get home last night? what did you eat?"

i hate i hate i HATE

today in the worst class ever with the worst teacher ever (biology, christenson) we watched a video. on whales. we had been pre-warned the day before. but despite the warning, my emotional instability grabbed hold of everything i ever kn---- ok. here's the thing: i cried. it was embarrassing. i tried to stop myself by shoving a book in my face. I tried to read while simultaneously tapping my foot on the chair so hard and fast that it probably looked like i was getting fucked. (sorry for the vulgarity liz, but it's the truth.) then the snot came. yes that word is gross as is the actual..thing...but it started coming out of my nose and that's when i knew it was shot to hell. the whole goddamn thing. i spazzed out of my seat [the girl next to me made a huffing sound like she was annoyed i was like, disrupting the whole experience for her?] and i gave mr. christenson a finger [surprisingly, not the middle one], took the pass, and bolted out of the room to 'go to the bathroom'?

i pulled myself together while walking down the hall towards the bathroom and doubled back. for god know's what reason i didn't skip the rest of the movie. i went back to my chair  where the movie blared in my face and i got to continue to hear/see things like [in the video on whales]:

"He was so happy about capturing the first whale from it's natural habitat, that he decided to capture another one. He put 'Shamu' in the same 10x10 cage. Unfortunately, the whale didn't seem to like being in the cage and was aggressive. So then they decided to sell him to SeaWorld in Florida. The plane ride to Florida was too long for a whale to be out of water. But hell, they did it anyway. There, he would die of an infection from being in the same pool water too long."

the whole video was like fucking pro-animal-capture and swear to god, i started tearing up just now. and then it ended with like, because of humans the killer whale population and species suffered greatly, but we, the scientists, are trying to be better now. GOD!


sonia had warned me, but i had shaken it off, thinking i could just read my book. the movie, with all of it's horrid animal abuse, neglect, and capitivity, completely drained me. normally, as y'all know*, i would've been extremely pissed off and would've bitched about it for days. but i didn't and it was sad.

and btw, i know a few of you have been to SeaWorld,etc. and NO OFFENSE TO YOU, SERIOUSLY, but i hate those places. SeaWorld and shit like that is so fucked up. I'm forever boycotting that kind of thing. and i'm not trying to come off self-righteous and like i'm better cuz "i care" [because i know i do sound like it] but honestly...i just had to bitch [verb]. and don't get me started on ZOOOOOS!

jesus.


*lol---at lunch courtney, tho i was depressed, your joke about me being the queen of bitches was amazing:) i took it as a compliment, also---guess who sits behind me in science?!

"true story" bitches

gosh, meghan

i be pimpin'.

don't hate me cuz i have IBD.

The fancy cars, the women and the caviar, you know who we are, cause 

we pimpin all over the world,

Sing it hoes:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXLCOIcb41Y&feature=related

. 

IBD

swear to god, i have the most diverse iPod selection imaginable. not bragging here: it's weird.

here's what genre i generalize to be on y'all's iPods(not an insult, this is just what i assume/have seen):

courtney - alternative pop (i.e. hey monday, all time low, hit the lights)
tessa - rock (lots of the beatles, the ramones, the blue van)
liz - ???? (i saw you listening to a ciara song once...)
sonia - hip hop (akon, kanye west, beyonce, anything on the top ten, and free songs ha)
acacia - pop (anything on a Now CD)

me - i have IBD (iPod Bipolar Disorder). to give you a sense of this, i put my iPod on shuffle and this is the random selection of songs that came up...i get shuffle is supposed to be random...but you'll see:

SOS [rihanna] - pop
The End Has No End [the strokes] - alt rock
Rebellion (Lies) [arcade fire] - alternative
SexyBack [justin] - pop/ hip hop?
Sweet Child O' Mine [guns n' roses] - rock
Hips Don't Lie [shakira] - pop?
Raise The Dead [phantom planet] - alternative
Yesterday [the beatles] - classic rock?


mhmmmm. i'm like 90210's silver but considerably less cool.

sexyoldermanbeast

sexyoldermanbeast:

song lyrics

first, sonia found this priceless addition to my disturbing youtube comment collection:

Just nifty, no? oh these made me laugh and laugh... all the way to the mental hospital..

second, i'd like to address the interesting topic of song lyrics.

there are ones that make little-to-no sense:

e.g. LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,

Towering over your head.

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,

And she's gone.

good song. but what the hell? can you say...acid?

then we have the suggestive rape lyrics:

e.g. IN MY HEAD

In my head, I see you all over me.

In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.

You’ll be screaming out.

In my head, it’s going down.

In my head, it’s going down.

In my head. 

disturbing. why is this woman screaming out if there is mutual consent? huh? rape.

there are the fun/ny lyrics:

e.g. BLAH BLAH BLAH

I don't really care where you live at 

Just turn around boy, let me hit that 

Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat 

Just show me where your dicks at 

ohhhhhclassic. great, eloquent stuff. 

then there are the lyrics that prove your point as to why it's utterly disgusting to have a "daddy-baby" relationship with your padre:

e.g. I'M YOUR DADDY

This ain’t believable 

This ain’t predictable 

You are my baby tonight 

And I’m your daddy 

I hope that I ain’t freakin’ you out 

You probably hear it all the time 

I swear I ain’t like those other boys 

I’m a special kind 

I would like to give a demonstration 

Of what it is I’d do

WHATUP.