i hate i hate i HATE

today in the worst class ever with the worst teacher ever (biology, christenson) we watched a video. on whales. we had been pre-warned the day before. but despite the warning, my emotional instability grabbed hold of everything i ever kn---- ok. here's the thing: i cried. it was embarrassing. i tried to stop myself by shoving a book in my face. I tried to read while simultaneously tapping my foot on the chair so hard and fast that it probably looked like i was getting fucked. (sorry for the vulgarity liz, but it's the truth.) then the snot came. yes that word is gross as is the actual..thing...but it started coming out of my nose and that's when i knew it was shot to hell. the whole goddamn thing. i spazzed out of my seat [the girl next to me made a huffing sound like she was annoyed i was like, disrupting the whole experience for her?] and i gave mr. christenson a finger [surprisingly, not the middle one], took the pass, and bolted out of the room to 'go to the bathroom'?

i pulled myself together while walking down the hall towards the bathroom and doubled back. for god know's what reason i didn't skip the rest of the movie. i went back to my chair  where the movie blared in my face and i got to continue to hear/see things like [in the video on whales]:

"He was so happy about capturing the first whale from it's natural habitat, that he decided to capture another one. He put 'Shamu' in the same 10x10 cage. Unfortunately, the whale didn't seem to like being in the cage and was aggressive. So then they decided to sell him to SeaWorld in Florida. The plane ride to Florida was too long for a whale to be out of water. But hell, they did it anyway. There, he would die of an infection from being in the same pool water too long."

the whole video was like fucking pro-animal-capture and swear to god, i started tearing up just now. and then it ended with like, because of humans the killer whale population and species suffered greatly, but we, the scientists, are trying to be better now. GOD!


sonia had warned me, but i had shaken it off, thinking i could just read my book. the movie, with all of it's horrid animal abuse, neglect, and capitivity, completely drained me. normally, as y'all know*, i would've been extremely pissed off and would've bitched about it for days. but i didn't and it was sad.

and btw, i know a few of you have been to SeaWorld,etc. and NO OFFENSE TO YOU, SERIOUSLY, but i hate those places. SeaWorld and shit like that is so fucked up. I'm forever boycotting that kind of thing. and i'm not trying to come off self-righteous and like i'm better cuz "i care" [because i know i do sound like it] but honestly...i just had to bitch [verb]. and don't get me started on ZOOOOOS!

jesus.


*lol---at lunch courtney, tho i was depressed, your joke about me being the queen of bitches was amazing:) i took it as a compliment, also---guess who sits behind me in science?!