sonia's quote here

your move karma.

After a near battle of the sexes (AKA, the ultra familiar dunn bros versus the swaggarific caribou) Christina and I settled ourselves at a table in the very back of the Swaggahouse. Sure it had privacy (so we could totes make out without drawing too much attention) but the downside was that it was seated directly opposite the men's bathroom. Upon resting my eyes on the stick-figure's lack of skirt, I realized we were in for it.

Sure enough, after the third man used the restroom, I was pretty tired of the routine---afterall, Stina and I had to get ow' mack on! But then something really, really strange happened as the man who was whistling when he went into the restroom, didn't come out. Normally, seeing as they get to stand up to pee, it doesn't take men too long to use the restroom. But for some reason, it took this guy an awful amount of time, and naturally, this gave us the giggles. What was he doing in there for so long... Then even more time passed and it started to become less funny. Thoughts were racin,' wheels were turnin', time was a-wastin'. Finally, we came to the rightful conclusion that the man had died on the toilet, and that it was our civic duty to help him. But how awkward would that be if he actually hadn't died? So we kept putting it off.

10 minutes later we still hadn't assisted the poor guy in what had to be a very lonesome, pathetic death. I know I personally was very close to helping him, when some very large dude waltzed right up to the door and opened it without pause. I peered inside---and sure enough, not a soul was in there.

So it turns out we didn't prolong anybody's descent into death after all. Hmm.

truedat

can we stop talking about her,   period? 

overstatement

run this town is literally the best song ever made.

little bitch

for as long as i can remember every goddamn dog that has ever been in my house has followed my mom every where she goes. oh, jan's going into the laundry room lets follow her, oh jan's chopping vegetables, let's lay down at her feet, oh jan's going to the bathroom, let's follow her in there too (i'm the voice of the dogs?)

it's ridiculous. bitch plays favorites, and in turn the bitches (even the male dogs) follow her around like a saint.

pisses. me. off.

pathetic post [tweets]

I feel like I should be happy about it raining in LA. It should make me feel better about this place. But instead, it makes me feel like I want to be there and feel badly about the rain there.

I also feel like I'm glad I warned y'all this was a pathetic one with the title. Kudos, Meghan.

Also, I suggest you read this if you, I dunno, have a heart/brain/sense of humor.

From the Onion

Responsible, Thoughtful Nation Decides To Ignore Charlie Sheen Situation

MARCH 10, 2011 | ISSUE 47•10

LOS ANGELES—Calling the situation "none of our business" and "not worth a second of our time, quite frankly," a responsible and thoughtful U.S. populace uniformly decided this week to ignore Charlie Sheen's recent outbursts, saying they had far more important things to focus on than a sitcom actor's personal troubles. "When Mr. Sheen's public meltdown began, I immediately recognized how a Hollywood star's crisis could be voyeuristically appealing, which is exactly why I said to myself, 'I am better than that; Charlie Sheen's attention-seeking behavior undermines my intelligence, and the sooner I ignore it, the sooner it will go away,'" said 41-year-old Denver accounts coordinator Margaret Atkins, who along with the rest of the nation has paid no attention to Sheen's situation, and has spent the majority of her time concentrating on the unrest in Libya, the collective-bargaining debate in the Midwest, and the health and well-being of her own family. "Not only have I chosen to ignore Mr. Sheen, but thankfully so has the American media, which has once again shown journalistic decency by only reporting the news that people legitimately need to know." Charlie Sheen was not sought out for comment.

Funny story about The Onion...When I went to see the musical Hair at the Orpheum, there was couple of teenage boys in front of me. They were skinny, and had shiny, long, light-brown hair. They looked very similar, and I thought they were brothers, attending with their hipster mother (with her spiky blonde hair and colorful outfit.) But then they started giving off a gay vibe, I don't remember why exactly, so I became confused as to whether they were brothers or lovers (the muscial was very awkward, so this predicament gave me something else to focus on.) Anyway, before the performance, they were sharing an actual, printed newspaper, and I thought that was odd. But then they turned back to the front page and it turned out to be The Onion and then I thought they were even cooler (sexier, had it not been for the odd gay vibe) than before. The end.

And that ladies and ladies, is how you properly tell a disappointing story. 

people who brake for no damn reason LOL

take the initiative and watch again. or courtney---watch for the first time.

irony

i've spent the greater part of the last 2 years (since i delved into the depths of buddhism) blaming every shitty thing that happens to me on karma. it is always the logical answer when something shitty occurs.  but maybe the little things are less spiritually involved than i choose to immediately believe. so i'm going to try and find relief in the irony instead of blaming myself for offending some sort of karmic happening.

e.g. there's a good chance many of you saw it, because it was up for like 20 minutes before i hastily took it down, but i posted something about how sexist the period scene in "no strings attached" was because i had finally found the words that matched my initial reaction on the subject. so i blabbered on and on about how it vicitimizes women and that they should go take a pill and shut up. then, in what i instantly marked as a sign  from karma, i got my period, full force, and thought i was dying on the ground. when i say full force: it was everything my supercharged hormones had to offer; from the rolling around, to the psychologically fucked up way i declined social gatherings, to the intense whining. obviously, this meant that my post had upset The Karma, because why else would i be experiencing the worst cramps anyone ever in the history of the world has ever had (you people dramatically categorize your menstrual woes, too, right?....)

then i woke up this morning, super fine (like always, as in my appearance) and decided it was a superb case of irony and that it should be laughed about. THE END.

pArt 2