yes, y'all, i recently birthed three kids outta me, and i really appreciated that wonderful shower y'all threw me. oh wait. you never did. you thought i was just fat, huh?!
ok. revelation: i've never been pregnant. it is just fat.
but i do miss my kids. or rather, the kids i babysit. why am i being so creepy-possessive of the kids i babysit? i don't know. i just miss them. they're annoying. and gross. and babysitting can be awkward. but i totally miss those fuckers. i get to babysit them tonight!!
this all sounds very pedophiliac-ish.
how do i reverse this, you bitches? hmm.... it's like an older sister thing. except they don't love me like a sister. in fact, they barely tolerate me. i'm not a great babysitter. i make them laugh occasionally, and i prepare them meals efficiently, but i don't know. i guess i don't have that special touch with kids. PUN INTENDED.
gross. alright. i like coloring. i like watching disney channel. i like making money. so there. no gross motivations.
P.S. i know this blog is shit, but none of you guys seem to be blogging lately SO SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT.
P.P.S. anybody have any good "i'm the best babysitter on the block" tips? how to be a popular babysitter 101 books, perhaps? COMMENT with helpful hints, like you always do, please. :P
1 comment:
Make forts with them. Believe me they will love it! Go all out with blankets and pillows and make each of them a 'bedroom' that they can put their toys/stuffed animals in.
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