blogtastic: *disclaimer: LOTS of swearing. not worth the look. except acacia. i need your help.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

*disclaimer: LOTS of swearing. not worth the look. except acacia. i need your help.

oh my, fucking, god. even on today. the most "isolating" of fucking days, i cannot bring myself to do one fucking piece of homework. i'm so fucking pissed at myself. it's 8 on a saturday, still unable to get out of my house, so i have plenty of time to work on some. but i just fucking can't. i can't walk across the room, open up my backpack, and just START. it's easier once you start, just going through the motions i guess, harder to get up leave and just STOP. but it's getting to the idiotic point that has to be so goddamn difficult. ACACIA: you are my hero. you push through all distractions (except for last sunday's 4 am extreme case) and get your shit done. like today. you finished all your FUCKING homework and have the rest of the day to relax. tomorrow? you can do whatever the hell you want. but not i, i have to go meet with my idiot, shittastic poetry group, and because i'm a fucking moron. I NEED YOUR HELP KAK. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

2 comments:

sonia said...: if i could offer advice, i would...but i suck..more than you. promise.

though i did spend the whole day putting up xmas deco! so i was productive.. in a sense.

ehh; Saturday, December 11, 2010
unknown said...: Well, it's when you experience a night where you stay up until 4am doing homework..that makes you want to get that shit done as soon as possible.

no.. ahaa. well, I just locked myself in my room with a frap until i was able to cross everything off my planner.

I would just pretend that today was actually sunday. For half the day I thought it was sunday... since sundays are the only days I actually get to sleep in.. (sometimes) .

ehh. Idk. I give great advice... I know.; Saturday, December 11, 2010

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out of the mouth of my condescending, eccentric, asshole of an english teacher:

[student asking if she's teaching AP again next year] "ha..uh, no. im bowing out." THE WORLD THANKS YOU.
"eating a peach is very sexual. go home and google it."
[on lincoln assassination; in crazy condescending voice] "you don't know JACK about anything you think you know!" REALLY, YOU HAVE TO BE CONDESCENDING ABOUT LINCOLN'S DEATH?! WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM
[for a whole five min] "why is this poem free verse" ...BECAUSE IT IS HOW MANY WAYS MUST WE EXPLAIN THIS SIMPLE CONCEPT TO YOU, DUMBASS
[whitest fucker i've ever met in my life] "Oh I remember him because his name always sounded black to me." [at this time, I pressed my forehead to the desk and whispered to it, "White boy, sit down " ] ...thomp then says "No that was not racist, it was actually artistic, because he associates words with a race." .....what
"You're brilliant and you're black!" im not going to explain this one, just begin judging now
[After saying "no shit" to people's CSEs] "Don't tell anyone I said that." MUAHAHA
[Reads an anonymous CSE aloud to class] "No shit." Reads another one; expects class to repeat; class follows suit "no shit!" directed at some poor student's work. APPROPRIATE
[Student asks when the AP English test is] "Umm..." [A different student answers.] "Well the important thing is to know when AP testing begins, not when the English test is." THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE AND WHY DON'T YOU KNOW THIS?!
[Student asks what a word means on a test, she answers in her most condescending tone] "There are dictionaries back there. You should've been using that dictionary for a while now if you want to be prepared for these tests." SO, ESSENTIALLY, YOU'RE SAYING: 1. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANS 2. WE SHOULD BE MEMORIZING A DICTIONARY IN PREPARATION FOR NOT KNOWING A SINGLE WORD ON A TEST. MAKES SENSE.
[Explaining a really fucky assignment in which we have to teach the class something] "I don't need to learn how to make a bomb or roll a joint. I already know."
[as tornado drill is being announced] "Fuck."
[After reading my quote aloud in front of class] "Meghan, are you going to prom?" ......................................justfuckingkillme
"that's just putting more milk on the same cereal." SURE, THAT'S A NORMAL THING TO SAY
[Replying to a Hamlet question] "pshh...It's not like I have the key hahaha" ISN'T YOUR COLLEGE DEGREE IN ENGLISH OR YOUR TEACHING LICENSE THE MOTHERFUCKING "KEY," YA PSYCHO?!
"I'm working my ASS off trying to help her and you guys are just sitting there la-di-da" YEAH, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE TEACHER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TEACH THINGS THAT STUDENTS DONT KNOW, ALSO, "WORKING YOUR ASS OFF" IMPLIES MORE THAN JUST STARING AT YOUR BOOK AND ASKING HER TO REPEAT HERSELF
"Hamlet is F'ED UP!" COOL, GREAT INFO, I'LL WRITE THAT IN THE AP ESSAY CUZ THAT'S THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GIVING US
[On the shy kids not answering questions] "really guys?! it's APRIL." AND I STILL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANSWERING YOU HUH
[On what's going on in Hamlet] "haha um... I know no more than you do." REALLY? DIDN'T YOU GO TO COLLEGE FOR THIS? DONT YOU GET PAID TO TELL US ALL THE THINGS YOU KNOW THAT WE DONT
"Do you know why I value Meghan's opinion?" *no one answers/knows what's going on/"who's meghan?" * "Because she is ART." crazy bitch i dont even know
[From the syllabus, under "teaching philosophy"] "This is our mission, and we can do it in an enjoyable, passionate, and comfortable environment." YEP, IF I COULD ONLY DESCRIBE THAT CLASS IN THREE WORDS IT WOULD BE "ENJOYABLE" "PASSIONATE" AND "COMFORTABLE" FO SHO!!!!
[To the class, laughingly, part of a 10 minute discussion of this development] "Someone sent pages from my Facebook to the principal, as they thought it was cause for concern..Who would do that?!" YEAH, THAT'S PROFESSINONAL, TO DISCUSS SOMEONE TURNING YOU IN WITH YOUR STUDENTS.
[To me in front of class] "Do you spell your name with an 'h'?" OK I GET IT CAN BE CONFUSING BUT BITCH I HAVE TURNED IN SO MANY DUMBASS ASSIGNMENTS TO YOU WITH MY NAME PERFECTLY TYPED AND PLUS DONT YOU TAKE ATTENDANCE EVERY DAMN DAY?! WTF YES
[about my cell phone extensively vibrating during a test] "One time that happened to me in court and the judge made me cry, so I'm not a bitch about it."
[this is not a real quote but is indirectly what she said through the substitute:] "today on december 23rd when 89% of you are skipping school and i am too, i want you to take two pages of notes on a fishbowl discussion that absolutely no one will monitor and which will have no grade. you must turn the notes into the basket by the end of the hour."
[on skipping school] "ehh...not the worst sin you can commit.*shrugs*" ...idk...
"I really love your tights, Meghan. Would it be cool if I bought a pair?" FUCK NO BITCH
"I love you guys!" NOOOOOO
[telling a story] "who the FUCK put my poopy clothes in the dryer?!"
"flat- meaning one-sided." REALLY?! IS THAT WHAT FLAT MEANS?!
"being drunk is funnnn"
"I don't give a damn about how you do on the test in the spring."
To her son's girlfriend, a student in our class: "You may be excused from our sexuality discussion. I already know wayyyyyy too much about your sex life." "YEAH!" says girlfriend, blushing.
"If any of you truly believe that we accept abnormality in 2011, that's a crock of shit."
"The sea is representative of some deep, heavy shit."
"My lover asked if I would still love him if he was missing toes. And I said, that depends, do you still have your fingers...?"
"Do you want to read or write today?" Read. "Pussies."
"Intelligence is much sexier than hanging boobs" [referring to a former student]
"I'm not gonna go through with this...I'm very feminine that way."
"I don't know why but your questions are annoying the hell outta me."
[During the reading of her poem about her hysterectomy]: "While lovemaking, I can feel the full force of a man"