sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs.

anticipation. build up. excitement.

fall out. sad, sad fall out.

first chapter: the Sims.
second chapter: sports.
third chapter: comparing Pam Anderson to Marilyn Monroe, discussing each's features/effects on societies, includes tid bits (literally) about Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape.
fourth chapter: porn.



this book is about, nay! this book is this dude's ["chuck klosterman"] thoughts on little details of today's and yesterday's society. this book is about pretentiousness. not saying they're one in the same, god knows i'm so not saying that. i read it, and i think, this is sooo insightful. this guy is totally right. i actually, for real, hear this dude talking in my head, as i read it. he is giving a lecture. to my brain. i'm not saying that he's forceful or mean when he writes. it's just the line after line of text that reminds me of a lecture.

 then ensues this humanizing self-esteem-involving debate.

on one hand: who gives a shit? to put it bluntly. this guy, openly admits his lack of cool, his lack of cred. he talks about uninteresting subjects. he is nobody. why do i care? why did millions of readers care? we live our own lives, think our own thoughts, why do we need want this dude's analysis on the more mundane, "cultural" aspects of it?

so yes, he comes off annoyingly pretentious and self-righteous. but then there's the self-depricating comment at the end of every paragraph. maybe he is ... cute. maybe he is the "Woody Allen Type". maybe, he's totally right. actually, i know he's right. everything he says makes sense.

as i read it though, i can't help but feel put down. if i admit to myself that it is boring, i'm one of the idiots that he would likely make fun of. this author creates an atmosphere. an air of...pretentiousness. so much so that i have to debate in my head whether or not i can admit the above admission or not. will he make fun of me? HE'S NOT ACTUALLY HERE MEGHAN. IT'S A BOOK.
but..

Chapter 5: Lazy Teenage Girls Who Think They Can Hang With the Cultural Anayliticals, but Really, They Are Just Stupid.

i am unfortunately, decidely, whole-heartedly an INSOMNIAC. ZZZZZ?

WEDNESDAY NEWS FLASH.

did you notice the period above? "flash." as in, little to no excitement involved.

ahh, fudge. summer summer summer.

1.) i went job-hunting last night. and by job-hunting i mean i googled "jobs for teens" and searched "sales associate" on indeed.com. not only was this depressing, but sobering: there are very few jobs out there, guys...the economy crisis is for real, i guess (and here i thought it was simply made up cuz there hadn't been one in a while...)

2.) my fingers have been, how you say, bloating for quite some time. i'm told it's due to massive salt intake....which would explain why my fingers have been gi-nor-mous my entire life.

*i feel like there was a fight about this word on the bus (?) proof it exists:

hey! what the fuck! i put the dashes in the correct syllables! (see above!)


3.) harry potter and the half-blood prince is an extremely long movie. it allows time for one to make extremely salty pasta (whole wheat noodles, nevertheless), make a sundae, eat said food items, and wash dishes. but i suppose any movie would allow that....'the fuck, meghan..

4.) still struggling to not obsess about Eclipse...not gonna see it...not gonna google...not gonna watch...dot dot dot...

5.) um, having a little mid-teen crisis over here...struggling with identity, goals & aspirations, the small stuff, really... however, i won't put into words this ridiculous, internal spazz attack, because no one needs to see that shit go down. instead i will listen to Dynamite really loud as i continue to type type type away, and tell y'all once again this shit is good and bad in one fell swoop. one. fell. swoop. (i saw Jennie Garth use that phrase on twitter!)

wednesday ne----ehh.

britney spears on letterman

i'm the only one who thinks this was a success. hilarious!

MONDAY NEWS FLASH

here are a few tidbits. i'm not going to make a story out of it, because this day was too boring and too stupid for any story to result from it. so, to begin...

** MONDAY NEWS FLASH **

1. i am super protective of my stories. and by stories, i mean movies. and by super protective i mean childishly selfish.

HERE is a picture from THE HARD TIMES OF RJ BERGER, which is a disgusting show on MTV (the title of the show is very LITERAL), but Paris Hilton keeps tweeting about it, and being as she's my role model, i went online to watch a recent episode. it was then that i saw THIS piece of shit:

does ANYBODY recognize the fucking t-shirt?!

fuckin' adventureland t-shirt...he can't fuckin' wear that...it's my movie..fuckin fuck....

2. i finally purchased Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and am anxiously awaiting an opportune reading assessment. (i just wanted to say opportune;;; it's a nice pretentious word i like to slip in unnecessarily.) i seriously am excited though. i read the first few pages in the barnes and noble parking lot, snacking on my Godiva chocolate bar....all alone...jesus christ i'm pathetic :(

3. no one here watches My Life On The D-List so nevermind (what backspace key?)

4. the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer went online today. fucking exciting, to say the least. but also, quite sad. i mean, did they have to put "FINALE" in all caps?? i mean, WE GET IT. it's done, it's over, and holy shit my eyes are tearing up no joke!!

i would watch it over and over, 'cept i'm quite fragile and it just gets me sad and anxious...like super meghan-just-accidently-stole-a-sierra-mist-intense-anxious.

5. *sigh...can't believe i'm saying this...i'm gonna get some shit for this, i know it... bring it on: 

i'm currently a little tinsey bit obsessed interested in all the hype surrounding the eclipse premiere...in fact...in fact...in fact...in fact...i'm like counting the minutes until the kristen stewart dave letterman interview is on... fuck shouldn't have written that (what backspace key??)

this has been **MONDAY NEWS FLASH** with your host, a very, very pathetic personnn :( i miss human interaction. just kidding. woah this is getting way too i'm a nerd with a computer blog blog blog so i'm done see y'all later gots to meet me boyfriend la de da da

Second City

um, guess who got her start on the Second City stage (improv group famous in Chicago)

TINA FEY

so i walk outside and there stand my parents. staring at me. their weight shifting from one foot to the other. beer in hand. just standing there. i have no where else to be, except outside, and prior to seeing my parents i was dragging myself slowly, (and upon seeing my parents, quickly maneuvering my way) to the outdoor fridge.

this isn't necessarily my worst nightmare, but it's up there. it's something about my parents watching me, everyone bored, with nothing to do, that really pisses me off. and please know, it isn't applicable to every situation. it has to be those two people, and no one else. (what i'm trying to get at is: i don't hate families in general, just these two people, so no one can take offense.)

basically, this was my weekend. unfortunately for me, none of the connotations that come with "weekend getaway" arrived. i stayed in the damp-ish basement, intermittently texting, reading magazines, and watching How I Met Yo Mama season four.

friday and saturday were cloudy and damp. however, my parents and sister insisted on hanging out at the dock, despite the weather, which left many hours for me to sit there, undisturbed. but then saturday night, the tensions came to a climactic-like point. i don't want to go as far as saying there was conflict to you guys, but by our standards, there was a brawl.

by 8 pm molly and i were getting antsy and fricken hungry. we were laying around watching the last few episodes of the dvd when we were finally called up for dinner. when i got upstairs, the air was thick with the stench of wet dog and steak, and the mugginess of the outdoors had been penetrating the super thin and ancient walls of the cabin for over 24 hours by that time.

the cramped quarters that is the '70s carpeted kitchen was suddenly filled with an overwhelmed, pissed off meghan. my head ached from a mix of that day's healthy activity: laying around and not moving very much and eating only a little bit of food thus far, including cupcakes and chips.

i sat down and stared at what was upon my plate: a disgusting baked potato, a few pieces of iceberg lettuce, and watery shrimp cocktail. are you fucking with me??, i made my eyes say.
now, if i were to be offered this meal at any other place besides my cabin, i would've been fine. but at my cabin, food is served on old gross plates and in a smelly, HOT, carpeted atmosphere. so for 10 minutes i picked at my food pissily. it felt like forever since i had sat down, when my mom exploded with numerous accusations involving things like,
"you two [me and molly] never do anything!"
"why don't you offer to do the dishes?!"
"be happy!"
"stop picking at your food, we worked hard to make it!"
"just go do the dishes now!!!!!!!!"
blah blah blah.

i was tired of my mom using her brutally cold eyes to scare us into being nicer, which by all means, is a logical and effective parenting method. so i just snickered when she would make an irrational comment, and sometimes countered with something like, "how is making us do the dishes supposed to make us happy? is it punishment? where's the logic in that..." molly, being a huge wuss, did not counter with anyone and did the dishes in silence.

so yeah. she left and we did the dishes. which we were planning on doing anyway, but it just pissed me off, that because i didn't consume my food full force that there was going to be punishment involved. then timeeeee passedddd andddd about an hour later she came down to our TV-chamber with an ice cream sandwich, which was supposed to be a "peace offering."

reading this now, i see that i'm coming off a bit bratty. but i have no idea how to reverse that on this blog...so we're gonna go with it. it wasn't a fun weekend. my mom and i fought over petty things. i was bored. BLECh

I Fear...1-20

taking liz's lead...

1. germs
2. murderers
3. rapists
4. murderers who double as rapists
5. sexual assaulters
6. hannibal lector
7. sexually conflicted disgusting other villian in silence of the lambs
8. books about rape
9. jodi picoult books
10. maya angelou books
11. oprah's angry face
12. ellen's angry face
13. liz's angry face
14. courtney's arm strength
15. sonia's silence
16. lindsay lohan's fate
17. paula abdul's fate
18. genocide
19. discrimination
20. censorship.

a diverse list, from a diverse(i have MPD)woman. (?)

Weekend Getaway.

it's always surprised me that "getaway" is one word: one of the more preposterous intricacies of the english language.

anyway, this weekend is one for the books, specifically, the books written in this preposterous, intricate english language, i speak of. woah. backtrack, meghan, backtrack...

--> sonia's taking a whirlwind trip to the windy city. windy whirlwind. there she will most definitely see the buddings of Harry and Sally's relationship, the prestigious Universtiy of Chicago, and most likely the very inner-city, unlocked gymnasium in which i slept a la sleeping bag, not two summers ago.

(old-timey voice) as for me, well... i'm traveling to unmarked territory; the great unknown. specifically, the desolately small town of richmond, wherein lies the cabin in which i rest.

weekend getaway. gateway. like that old software/computer company. wait, wait, wait there's a metaphor here....

it may be out-dated, these family-oriented weekend getaways, but shall always hold a special place in our hearts. if you're way into bullshit, as i am, you'll find that this metaphor is beautifully bullshitted and most of all, beautiful.

best wishes to all. tomorrow i will once again, babysit on Wisteria, but only for a moment...until the ferociously nifty winds grab hold of my stockings and carry me all the way home. on the range. where the deer, and those nifty antelope play. seldom is heard, a discouraging word. and the skies...are cloudy with a chance of severe thunderstorms.

sonia: say hi to my beloved chi-town (pronounced: shy-town. nickname: chicago), and renee zellweger for me.

xoxo,
Gossip Girl



 a little bubbly, for my bubblies, i always say...

do not touch your penis

SDCP

the truth about life, as depicted by Klosterman in Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs:

There's not a lot to say during breakfast. I mean, you just woke up, you know? Nothing has happened. If neither person had an especially weird dream and nobody burned the toast, breakfast is just the time for chewing Cocoa Puffs and/or wishing you were still asleep. But we've been convinced not to think like that.