random shit on my mind

#5

It occurred to me, just now, five days into doing this, that I should've been writing: "DAY ___" instead of "#___"..................damn it.


Anyway, here are 5 places I want to visit:

1. Manhattan Beach, CA (and by "visit" i mean "die a happy death")
2. Tokyo, Japan. On account that it is awesome.
3. Edinburgh, Scotland. If you don't get this reference, I'm not quite sure we can be friends.
4. Malibu, CA (even though it's relatively intimidating)
5. Oaxaca, Mexico. On account of its name and the extensive amount of research I've done on it in Spanish class.

P.S. Why the fuck has only one person verbally or technologically confronted me about the boner poem?

#4

There is no meaning behind my blogger name. Just me being really uncreative and lazy, ass usual.

#3...sorry

My day in unfortunate great detail:

I woke up at 9 AM to pee, and to, for some reason, look at my phone. I don't know why but someone had actually texted me during the time I was sleeping: my sister. At approximately 2:30 AM she had texted me asking if I could pick her up in the morning. This was odd because I had no idea she wasn't in the house and because fuck that, I'm sleeping. Only not fuck that because then I couldn't go back to sleep, wondering when I would need to pick her up. Sure, I texted her asking when/where/how/why/etc but she never texted back. She's courteous like that.

Then I went downstairs with a mindset of asking for waffles, which I eventually did, only to take back my request on account that my mother was annoying about it. My parents were just walking and standing around the kitchen and I was just sitting there, waiting for them to leave, but they didn't. At this point I got impatient and left a nasty voicemail on Erin's cell. She didn't call me back until halfway through Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. We decided on waffles for lunch at the Hoodbury Cafe, because at that point she had already eaten breakfast.

After the inevitable confusion of planning an event with me, we went to Hoodbury Cafe. The table was wet and the booth had crumbs on it so I immediately felt uncomfortable. But then we got the menu and I ordered a chocolate-chip-cookie-dough pancake and started to ease into the experience. After some odd conversation, we got our meal and ate quite a bit. Quite...a...bit.

Then we went to the Verizon Wireless store because Molly wanted to look at phones. There was someone I knew there but I didn't care all that much. I looked at the Blackberries and found them to be the best possible option. We left 3 minutes in without any purchases.

We proceeded to my house to pee and change and from there went to Erin's house where her mother would drive us to a mall in the city of flowers. After we had parked, we got locked out of the car with the keys and Erin's mom's purse and such inside. Erin's mom called AAA (triple A) and she waited while we went shopping. I got a ring from Aerie that began to unwind as I slid it on my finger. I returned it and exchanged it for a much more suitable metal one.

Other shit happened. (This got way to boring too write so I can only imagine how it reads.)

#2

10 Likes:

1. Forceful sunshine accompanied by actual warmth (interesting concept, right MN?)
2. Iced coffee (when done properly)
3. Juno soundtrack
4. Colors of California
5. Surprisingly short states of uninterrupted peace amongst friends
6. Online television
7. Listening to a Death Cab for Cutie song with my eyes closed
8. Susan Sarandon's voice...
9. Quick text-backs
10. When a favorite TV show does a sex scene tastefully. Not gonna lie. 

10 Dislikes

1. When my mom comes downstairs to do something; talks to my dogs like they're humans meanwhile not actively acknowledging my presence but still being obvious that she disapproves of whatever i'm doing/sees me. I don't know how to describe it but it's dislikable. 
2. Walking into a room and my dad being there. Sounds cruel, but I'm being honest. 
3. Cliffhanger season finales. It's just rude to treat your loyal audience that way. 
4. Cold toes; noses
5. Participation points: How about you participate in fucking yourself? And then I'll grade you on it, teach. 
6. Public restrooms; used tampons on ground; shit in the toilet; see-through toilet paper; when they don't provide toilet seat covers; pubic hair on seat...what the hell is with women and their autonomous pubes?!; people in stalls next to you...specifically when theyre crying (this must be a girls-only dislike); insufficient soap; non-automatic facilities
7. Internet commercials; ads that forestall your movement to a webpage; commercials that come in sets of 2 or more (fuck it, i'm leaving the site)
8. unsolicited advice, to put it politely
9. feeling deathly alone among friends
10. Blended coffee drinks with chunks of ice that overpower the entire experience. I'm damn serious about my coffee. 

#1

Day 1:

In addition to thinking this looks the shit,

i also have a hankering for plain toast. 

for sonia

thought dis was hott

sonia and i: post-coital

obviously, one of us enjoyed ourselves more than the other. this picture was taken before she ditched me claiming she had to go visit a friend who" just had surgery."






  right. 
but in all seriousness, why are we sitting on a bed and why do i have a look of slight satisfaction on my face?

i want to go to there

hence

because i'm really bored and i found tina fey's bossypants in my backpack, i'm going to recite (rewrite?) my favorite excerpt, so everyone can enjoy.

it's an anecdote about feminism, and you'll notice i liked it so much i put it up as my blog description. obviously, a lot of time and effort goes into choosing each blog description, so you should take careful notice of what the following says. (kidding. but still.)

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the 17th floor writers' room, waiting for the Wednesday read-through to start. There were always a lot of noisy "comedy bits" going on in that room. Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and "unladylike." Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said "Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it." Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't fucking care if you like it." 

ahhha!