class SUCKs.

i'm really bored right now and the sun is shining and i'm really pissed off that my english teacher, formerly known to me as a good teacher, is assigning us some dumbass assignment to write a play and perform it. i mean seriously? with 26 days left til school lets out, you're going to pull this shit? fuck you and fuck school.

thank you and good night.

cheetos SUCK.

Ok listen up.

Hi, my names is Meghan, and I'm obsessed with cheetos.

There, I admitted it.

I won't even capitalize them, they're so evil.

I posted that clip from Family Guy a few days ago, and it kind of confused some people. One person thought I was snorting substances...

But unfortunately, that's not the case.

I remember a world in which everyone liked cheetos and ate them plentifully. I remember a day in 3rd grade, during math class, we got them as prizes after some counting game (because obviously, I was still in a counting-oriented math class in 3rd grade) and everyone loved them! I licked one and thought it was horrendous and passed mine out to my classmates. Hopefully not the licked one. But probably.

Then, 10 years later, I still can't count. Then, 8 years later, I started having a craving. I was walking down the aisle at Target and BAM. Orange packaging. Fuck. Yes. 


It has not been pretty since that fateful purchase.

Then yesterday I ate my second whole bag and was disgusted, but very much relieved. But what do you know-- I find myself in Target again today buying another bag.

Do you know what that's called? ADDICTION. (In layman's terms.)

So please friends, coworkers, colleagues, and business executives(I'm looking at you, Nia): Stop me the next time I try to buy this shit.

Sincerely,
Col. Meghan Lee
P.h.D. in Shitty Narratives

sorry cesar millan

in a move that any self-respecting dog trainer would warn you dead against, i lifted dug onto my lap after he barked at me for attention while i was on my computer. he just sat there, contently, with his legs falling off my lap for a good 2 minutes. then he started to rest his head on my keyboard---borderline cute, line-crossing-ly annoying---so i set his 40 lb ass down. then what did the bitch do? he laid there on the ground licking his junk, like what i had just done for his spoiled ass was no big thing.

asshole.

my new obsession helppp

too lame for my own good.

no self-respecting 17 year old should spend as much time in Gap as i do.

what started out as an innocent daydream...

Erin's mom always wanted a girl. So when Erin was birthed on a sunny, warm December day in Miami, Kentucky, it was the happiest day of her life. She understood having a newborn baby would be tough, but she knew she could manage with the help of her loving husband and the baby's beautiful smile.

Then one day Erin's mom got preggers.

Again.


This time the doctor said it was going to be a boy. Well, Erin's mom thought, at least my husband will be happy. Little did she know, no one would be happy for a very long time.

When the first baby boy was born on a cool, crisp May day in Miami, Kentucky, the air was thick with tension. Everyone was on high alert, just in case a girl popped out. But alas no, it was a boy, and the baby came out sounding like it would for the rest of its life: disrespectful and obnoxious. "Sonofabitch!" little Erin screamed--because she was only 5 at the time, she still made very literal epithets.

Then one day Erin's mom got preggers. Bitch couldn't keep it in her pants!

For the second time in the row, she birthed a boy. On the same day, 1 year later, she birthed another. 3 boys and 1 girl made up the spawn of this Irish Catholic lass.

Fast-forward many years later: Erin is annoyed, to say the least. She stays in her room for extended periods of time. She hoards different sorts of crackers, chocolates, delectables, to satisfy the craving that no food can fill. She hears the eldest boy knocking on her door: "ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIN!" the little tormenter screams.  "ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIN time to rub my bellllllllllllly!!!!!!!!!"

"Erin!" her mom screams. "Rub the boy's damn belly!"

That was the last straw of hay in the haystack of life.

Erin went to her desk, and stood there. She looked off into space, stupidly, trying to figure out where she had stored her gun. Then she remembered, after a good 5 minutes, that she didn't own one. (Must've been all of that heavy metal she listens to.) She searched in her desk drawers and came up with the perfect weapon: a dagger (for when Erin goes hunting in the vast openess that is her backyard.) She opened her bedroom door and hurled the gun in the annoying shitstain's gut and that was the end of that.

When her family discovered the body of the eldest boy, they all breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
The family knew what Erin had done was wrong, but no one was complaining.

So the story ends triumphantly. Many of you have never heard of Erin's first brother (some of you have never heard of Erin at all) because he's been long gone now. Gone with the wind of time, of a period of everlasting hatred.

Whaaaaaaaaaa.

see if you can spot the lady inside the situation rm

[excluding girl w bangs in the back]

..!..

the worst headline i have ever set my gorgeous eyes on:

via eonline.com

Yes, That's Miley Cyrus Covering Nirvana

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b239697_yes_thats_miley_cyrus_covering_nirvana.html?cmpid=sn-000000-twitterfeed-365-topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=twitterfeed&utm_campaign=twitterfeed_topstories&dlvrit=48939

nbc ads

let's be serious here. nbc isn't great at advertising. should i bring up the ill-fated (in my mind and my mind alone) "more colorful" campaign featuring Danny Pudi? i think that's best left unsaid. sure, they have thursday-night-comedy-night (there's no way that's the right slogan) but that's due to sheer comedic value, not an at-all-convincing advertising scheme.

but i have to admit, this is one of the better promos i have seen in a long time:

the last face cracks me up