ruined dreams

not that anyone gives a shit about what "Lo Bosworth" has to say (what the fuck kind of name is that?) but she tweeted this and it made me sad:

in all honesty, i don't know his John Wooden is. but i recently (5-10 minutes ago) RUINED my UCLA sweatshirt by spilling BLEACH on various parts of it.

being the metaphorical person that i am, i can't help but take this as a sign that all my hopes and dreams are colorless and blotchy.

also, "lo bosworth" got into UCLA. she's on "The Hills." i'm depressed. 'nuf said.

car test

this is the reply i sent to erin after she emailed me about my test. it's an accurate portrayl of my experience, and i don't feel like changing-it-up for bloggger today.



omigod! it was...ridiculous. i suppose it depends on who you are as a person...and i had the longest panic attack: from thursday morning til friday 5 hours after i took the test. but every other person i know who's taken it has said that they were calm, the proctor was calm, it was easy, blah blah blah. well, they went to stillwater. that's my biggest advice: GO TO STILLWATER. they are scheduled way in advance over there, so you'll have to do that but it's worth it. I went to Hastings because I could get a test appointment in 2 weeks. the proctor/test person was a hag bitch fuckface who basically made me puke and cry. she was mean. seriously. i had anxiety/stress-induced stomach cramps and i had a mix of my breakfast and bile-taste in my mouth all of friday. but again...just the way i roll. my mom said before i took it (to calm me down), "meghan, at least you are not going to jail for a crime you didn't commit. now that would be stressful." ha.

anyway, i did terribly. in fact, when we pulled into the DMV parking lot, and she started to read what she marked me on*, i knew it, i knew i failed. then she said, "you should definitely practice with an adult before going off on your own." then she threw the paper in my lap and slammed the car door (may be exaggerating a wee bit). but anyway, it wasn't til after i was in line again to register (for what? idk) that i looked down at the sheet she tossed at me, which was shaking in not the wind, but in the ferocious involuntary movement of my hands, and i saw that she circled "pass". 

i wasn't even excited on the drive back to school, cuz i was so traumatized. but again, that's just me. i'm a freak that way. 

*what i got off on: parallel parking. i tried twice to get into the space and tapped the cone. twice. she said at the time, "you have the rest of your life to practice this. now pull out and take the next available left." freaky. then i didn't know all the controls on the dashboard (i.e. four-way-flashers, defroster). thenn i didn't look back when i turned to park on the side of the road. then...ddon't really remember anything else. 

so my point: learn from my mistakes. go to stillwater. (hastings = lots of one-ways that i got marked off on because i didn't know what the FUCK i was doing [horrrrrrible])

also: i'm a good driver. not gonna lie to you. the above shpeil may be convincing you otherwise but...idk. i'm safe. there are no one-ways in woodbury/lake elmo. i don't plan on parallel parking any time soon. i'm bomb at the 90 degree back up. there's a reason why i passed (what i'm trying to say here is: don't tell your mom that i did badly on the test, or you'll never get to ride in a car with me, i'm thinking). 

holla at yo' boi,

meg

i'm numb and in a controlling and constant state of anxiety. i need help :((
i'm gonna go practice.
i need people to practice their speeches tonight for tomorrow when

a.) i fail
b.) its cancelled
c.) i fail during a thunderstorm
d.) i get lost on the way there and don't make it/basically fail.

seriously. think about what you are going to say, i'd appreciate it.

i'm pizzissted, so i shall blog

do they cancel drivers tests for thunderstorms? this is unbelievable.

one left

no!no!no!no!no!no! serious heartbreak guys!

Golden Girls' Rue McClanahan Dies

Today 10:45 AM PDT by JOAL RYAN

Ron Galella/WireImage.com

The Golden Girls made a woman of Rue McClanahan.
McClanahan—who earned an Emmy along with, by her own assessment, a measure of courage playing Blanche Devereaux, the lustiest member of the sitcom classic's retiree quartet—died early today from what was termed a massive stroke. She was 76.
"She had her family with her. She went in peace," her manager, Barbara Lawrence, said.
Her death leaves Betty White as the sole surviving star of the beloved 1985-1992 TV comedy. Estelle Getty died in 2008; Bea Arthur passed away in 2009.
The Golden Girls itself is immortal, as McClanahan herself observed.
"It started running in reruns in 1988, and it hasn't stopped since," she told the Gay & Lesbian Times in 2008. "It dawned on me then that this might be an ongoing proposition."
Born Feb. 21, 1934, in Oklahoma, McClanahan was a wife and mother before becoming an actress at about age 30. In the beginning, she worked primarily in the New York theater. She came to Hollywood in the 1970s, tempted by roles in producer Norman Lear's groundbreaking sitcoms All in the Family and Maude. On the latter, she played the neighbor and friend of Arthur's titular character.
In 1985, at age 51, McClanahan became the youngest "girl" on The Golden Girls. The show was an immediate hit, as popular with critics as with families who found themselves housebound on a pre-Internet Saturday night.
Originally, Blanche was to be played by White, who'd had man-eating experience as insatiable TV chef Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Then it was suggested White instead give it a go as the show's most naive character.
"So I'm Rose and she's Blanche," White said of McClanahan to the King Features Syndicate in 1985. "And as she said so perfectly the other day, 'I'm playing you and you're playing me!' "
For McClanahan, the new role took some getting used to.
"Blanche is extremely self-confident," McClanahan once told the Los Angeles Daily News. "I have found that helps me to have more self-confidence. It really has. If she can think like that, why don't I think like that?"
McClanahan did seem to share a certain spunk with Blanche—by the time the series premiered, McClanahan had been married and divorced five times. But according to McClanahan, her repeated trips down the aisle indicated anything but confidence.
"It was a quiet kind of desperation," she told TV Guide in 1990. "I always thought I had to have a man."

NBC

McClanahan wrote about her exes and other men, including Benson star Robert Guillaume, in the 2007 memoir My First Five Husbands...and the Ones Who Got Away. As the title indicated, McClanahan had given marriage one more try in 1997 to writer-actorMorrow Wilson.
After The Golden Girls, McClanahan starred with Getty and White in its one-season-only spinoff, The Golden Palace, and later returned to Broadway.
The actress suffered a minor stroke in January while convalescing from heart bypass surgery. Morrow told the tabloids that McClanahan asked him to move out of their New York apartment following the bypass.
To the end, Blanche stayed with McClanahan and vice versa.
"People always ask me if I'm like Blanche," McClanahan said tongue in cheek to the Cape Cod Times in 2007. "Well, Blanche was an oversexed, self-involved, man-crazy, vain Southern belle from Atlanta—and I'm not from Atlanta."

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/detail.jsp?contentId=184033#ixzz0pp6Gi1zr

found this really funny...featured next to each other on itunes

also. this. is. where. it's. at. seriously. check it out. :) i mean, obviously, every month should be black music month. perhaps, african american music yearyearyearyear. right? yes.
if you don't get it: where's the white music month then? ahh. :o
i really hate when i type with emoticons. damn me.

nothing

wednesday. hump day.

...

sonia doesn't have a phone!! ahh whatever will we do...(sincere)


funny story: she dropped it in the toilet. not a long one, but a funny one, indeed.


i'm feeling really antsy/anxiety-ridden lately. drivers test. public speaking. english mess. ap. finals.
on the bright side: __________________

tonight's glee

i really liked tonight's episode of glee.

for those who haven't watched it yet, i'll spare you the details.
the episode revolved around the universal (?) emotion of depression. at first, i didn't think anything of it, being that the topic is often accompanied by a common phrase in teenage life ("i'm depressed.") and also because of the show's song and dance, which, of course, was mesmerizing.

but as soon as the episode made that little "ba-dum" sound, and the fox 9 news promos started appearing (blechh), i thought of something. glee, along with involving a whole lot of talent-whores in one amazing dramedy performance after another, is satirical.

duh. though i usually spend a great deal of time critically thinking and focusing on the analytics of a television program, i had somehow overlooked this fact. and now i'm left with feelings of pain and joy.

i'm kidding, but i really sound like rachel berry.

what i'm trying to get at is that during tonight's episode, all of the characters used the phrase, "i'm depressed" and so ensued an epiphany: the show's writers were making fun of how that phrase is just thrown around, and perhaps used a little too cavelierly. obviously, their point is to entertain, not make it an after-school-special (i have no idea what this is, but the expression seems appropriate), but let's just say little stupid meghan is in on the joke guys *ridic wink here*

i take this two ways:

a.) lightheartedly. it's funny. i understand this, i can relate.
b.) depression effects a person's behavior, social life, the people they surround themselves with, etc.
even though i sometimes feel this way, as we all do, i wonder now if i am overusing this phrase, adding to its now quite casual manifestation..


where's c? thas sad.

like hagrid

cuz it's the first of june, and i've already written 3 posts today, might as well make it 4. why? why. not.




today's the first of june!!! holla! holla-at-yo-boii!

i've been doing a lot of thinking, and i'm considering becoming Dog the Bounty Hunter. or at least job shadowing him. cool cat. (sarcasm. this dude's a mullet-sportin' creep-o.)

____

For those of you who have the E! channel, and regularly view it, you might have noticed that it's E!'s 20th anniversary and they keep bragging about it. i like this. the background of the E! promos are red and sparkly, and they have little trivia things in between movie previews. snazzy shit.

you know what's also snazzy shit? my life. but you knew that was coming right? mhmm. every post is another rollarcoaster of emotions coupled with a cliffhanger conclusion. that's a contradiction: cliffhanger conclusion. but hey, bad writing...how i roll.

____

i hate things. just kidding. man oh man do i want to post a video right now that nobody will watch except me and i will become so happee. like hagrid.

sadder than SADD

ok, will you guys hate me after this..?

my newest televison obsession is......................
































the west wing :(

i just netflixed the first season first disc. it makes my brain hurt, but it also makes me happy. real happy. like, "i have to do this now..text him...write this...WATCH WEST WING..finish this assignment...WATCH WEST WING!!"

you know how it is...oh, you don't? seriously? i'm the only one with this condition? (the said condition not being TVOCD but rather, talking to the internet).