remember that time i saw the social network for the 89th time

AND I THINK I JUST FUCKING DIED: (my favorite scene is when he dances over to mark at the jewish fraternity party)



and i just died again:


i think i'm done now

contradicting some of tumblr's sweeping generalizations on crying!!!!!!!!woooooooohooooo

No. Psychological fact (?!) #2: Some people are more likely to cry in the morning because seeing a montage of the Kare11 news team being loving with one another first thing in the morning makes emotions hard to control.

No. Shit-thatblows is crying anyway, because you have no control over that knot.


just saying.


and nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww we have "best of 9gag" by me.

and then there was this on imgfave that i couldn't not upload

pl

if you are looking to be attracted to a male for a few minutes, i recommend this video. from start to finish: you don't even have to listen to what he is saying (not great) but just stare at his arms and his great shirt-choice and towards the end, how well he handles a baby. it is super endearing, and i mean that completely sincerely.



if you are looking for a new tumblr to follow, i recommend this one:

kellyoxford.tumblr.com

idk why. she's an unapologetic housewife and has weird awesomeness to her (she's also a writer/comedian) and i am completely entranced by her priorities and her fashion choices

best line in the whole series

the perks of being a wallflower

i always bring books on trips with long car rides, and i never end up reading them. i rarely read books in general. i think this may be because when i do, they fucking hurt me. or because i'm lazy.

so roxy borrowed me the perks like a month ago, and i finally read it. last night, i was at my grandparents house and i was really bored, so i put in my headphones to tune everyone out and started reading. and at first i was like "what the fuck is wrong with this kid." and then i was like, "why did roxy think i would want to fucking read a child called it?!"and then i was like holy fucking shit. i sat there for like, six hours or so and read it (i'm a pretty slow reader) and i fucking cried and the only time i put the book down voluntarily was toward the end when *spoiler alert* we learn why charlie's so fucked up. and i put it down and my eyes couldn't focus on anything and i started scratching my right arm furiously even though it didn't itch (my version of a panic attack). and then i finished it and felt happy, and sad, and weird.

i don't know what to fucking think.

there are some quotes i fucking love and are probably a-floating in tumblr land somewhere...
i'd like to think their unique to me, and i'm the only one who loves them, but i know i ain't. anyways.. this is my favorite.** there's a lot more heartbreaking & insightful shit in the book. there's a lot of really simple shit about certain characters that you read and then you're onto the next line and then it hits you. *spoiler part* like for those who have read it: when patrick starts kissing charlie because he is so drunk and devastated and charlie just goes with it because he wants to be patrick's friend. and then later sam is all like, why did you let him do that? that is just great. and i really hope in the movie they keep the cigarette smoking thing. for some reason i keep thinking they're going to take it out. but i think it is so important to charlie as a character...that he just starts it even though he doesn't really want to. he just does it to be a friend and then it goes full circle with him smoking alone, and you're just like, why is he smoking. i don't know, it was stuff like that even more than the molestation, etc. that really killed me. OH! and when he took lsd and you don't know til the end and you're like that poor baby. anyway, that kid is cray and i love him even though he's fictional.

**fav quote
"i think that if i ever have kids, and they are upset, i won't tell them that people are starving in china or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. and even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. good and bad."



i'm also really anxious about the movie. for the first time in my life, i'd prefere unknown actors to play these guys. idk why. i saw paul rudd is playing bill and idk...it feels less personal this way. also, i looked on imbd and the guy who plays patrick is pretty strange looking, which sounds awful, but it's just not at all how i pictured him . the guy who's playing charlie is pretty cute. emma watson...i saw on youtube a video of her doing an american accent and it was pretty shitty, so i'm worried about that. and the smoking thing. idk why but that's really important to me. and the nineties thing. i'm sure they'll get that right though cuz studios love that shit.

p.s. sorry i dog-eared some pages on your book, roxy.

um.

DECISION 2012

i've made up my mind.

the movie was great.

i wanna see it again.

any takers should contact me.

the girl with the dragon tattoo: spoiler alerts

if i could walk into that theater again and turn left instead of right, i would do so in heartbeat. playing in the left theater was the horrendous alvin and the chipmunks two, and in the right: the girl with the dragon tattoo.

holy mother of god.

do not see this movie.

or maybe you should, i haven't fully decided. but what i can tell you is if you see this movie, you will die a little on the inside, maybe a lot, if you're me. and as everybody's mother i must tell you to cover your eyes at the dirty parts. or you will feel as i feel now: dead inside. absolutely crushed. or again...maybe you won't. i know i think of movies too pretensiously and have a tendency to take a lot of feeling from the theater with me.

i really wanted to write about my reaction to this movie, but suddenly i'm having trouble putting it into words... i'll start from the beginning, i guess..

- i was borrowed the book this summer, tried to read it, several times, and quit. of course, i originally wanted to read it because i had seen a lot of hype about it in entertainment weekly, not because it was a worldwide bestseller, for like, a couple of years...

i don't who has read it (courtney?) but if you have, i give you props. that's an amazing feat.

- don't get me wrong, the movie was FUCKING AMAZING. like, no words for david fincher (the social network, fight club, benjamin butt), he is the god of all modern day directors in my eyes... and when i say fucking amazing i mean, like a really great, intense, gripping, crazy-well-acted film that deservingly recieved an A from entertainment weekly (and they don't just hand that shit out.)

- there are two very different, very horrifying, very explicit/detailed rape scenes, that i need to worn you about. most people in the world have read the book and know this, but yeah...i was even warned about them by entertainment weekly so many months ago when they were doing updates on it. but i was not prepared for this shit. i repeatedly covered erin's eyes with her hood, but kept hypocritically sneaking glances and i really, really, really wish i hadn't.

- there is something crazy disturbing and mesmerizing (i use this word too much) about lisbeth/rooney mara (the actress). it's transfixing to watch her with daniel craig because their chemistry is really believable..and sexual.. (to paraphrase an e.w. article on the movie, which i've naturally read 10 times at this point.) also, i need to say it, daniel craig is ssssexy as hell in this movie. never thought so before, but dayum.

i originally left the post at "dayum" but i'm going back now to re-emphasize: do not see this movie if you can't handle really, really, really, really explicit shit. and this is coming from me, someone who really likes boasting about how she has "seen it all" and is a really edgy person. im not sure if that's gon translate righttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttohhhhhhhhhhnoooooooooooo

probably the reason i originally gave my soul over to the animals

ah hal

saturday mornings when someone decides to shovel outside my window or some shit

robyn/meryl videos

i don't know what's happening here...but i like it...i think?

1. It can be extremely funny, depending on your mood
2. Her shoes are craycray !!
3. The spasticness of her seemingly unchoreographed dancing is fucking mesmerizing and refreshing and awesome
4. Lyrics are that rare kind of pop song awesome
5. Featured as one of EWs top music videos of the year...pretty sure i just made that up

slowly narrowing my audience so it only includes myself...

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

OK GUYS.
i've been impressed with this man ever since i saw his name under writer on some 30 rock credits and then google-imaged him to find that he was troy from muthafuckin' Community (which is secretly the best show ever except might be canceled: see evidence at end of post.)

but up until this point i've admired him as a talented writer, comedian, actor, and rapper. i thought of him as a friend---like i literally fantasized about us meeting and becoming buddy-buddy but in a nice platonic way. NORMAL, MMMMK?

anyway...i got into his new rap album camp and like...i can't deny it anymore... I FUCKING LOVE HIM

evidence Community is canceled:

1. i read a rumor about it on EW.com
2. it's no longer on spring line-up because of fucking Whitney
3. THIS

unpopularopinionrickperry.tumblr

the simple life = tumblr gold

too personal

i hesitate to call today a "bad" day. theoretically, it should've been great.

chemistry we had a quiz, i did poorly, but i've been completely desensitized to doing poorly in science: i've been putting in shitty effort and yielding shitty results since forever (all my parent-teacher conferences at vc centered around trying harder at "theme" and just like, doing better, at math.)

gov was a lecture day, which i always thoroughly enjoy I DON'T CARE HOW THAT SOUNDS. my teacher is a good talker and the subject manner gives me such a jolt: not because it's all that interesting, but because being in that class doesn't give me reason to fantasize about stabbing my eyes out with my pencil (a rarity.)

spanish....no silent reading?

math... math was awful, but again: desensitized. i'm not sure i even know what a good day in math feels like. at this point, in 5.5 i think it is, i stare at the paper and hear a buzzing. i can't even... no. like i so wish to understand any part of it but i seriously think i have a learning disability specific to math. which sounds like an awful thing to just throw around, but i've never experienced this kind of frustration before. so i talked to my "math buddy" the whole time and it was fine, despite her habit of summarizing the plot of television shows i've never seen, episode-by-episode.

english was A BITCH. but a relatively fine bitch because we had a subsitute and it was a workday. i say "a bitch" because everyone was treating me like one and i don't understand why. we were working on these complex skit presentation things and i'm in a group with a katie, an ingrid, an allie, an ashley and a jenna... it's hard... anyway, whenever i would say anything, they either ignored me or gave me the bitchiest looks. it was perplexing because i've never personally attacked any of them, and i DON'T FUCKING GET WHAT I DID. then, i volunteered to play a character and katie was all like, "are you sure you can handle that? are you capable of being that funny? being him is a lot of pressure, don't you think? [completely serious]" and i was like what the fuck, man, and gave her a really frightened look. and then allie was all like, "oh yeah, she's hilarious." and i was all like what the fuck and just continued with the scared face. this may seem like nothing but it made for a HIGHLY EVENTFUL INNER MONOLOGUE WHEN IT HAPPENED, LET ME TELL YOU.

i had an inadvertently hilarious lunch. sociology was not at all traumatizing, as usual (thank god.)

then i had to drive home. for some reason, lately, driving home is a seriously daunting task.

and i say all of this knowing full well that you all will continue to do yo' thang and pretend/forget i ever wrote this, and that is what i expect and what i honestly hope for.

because molly has basketball and tessa has a life, i drive home alone most days. i don't like this, at all. i feel retardedly lonely and unjustifiably anxious.

it's not the driving, but it is the whole experience that depresses me. the weather is sad, my car is sad, i have no one to talk to and only shitty music to listen to. i come home and i'm alone with my sadness. and after 2:15, i pass all my peers and friends and acquaintances and for some reason that makes it exponentially worse. i'm self-conscious of their judgment and i'm jealous that they get to enjoy the privilege of transportational friendship (?). it's the fucking weather, it's the fucking loneliness*, it's seeing the exhaust coming out of my car in my rearview mirror, it's the frustrated crying after that and it's the feeling that i can do nothing to change anything.


at first glance i'm a methodical person--i like to plan events, i like to stick to those plans, and i'm usually punctual. but i'm actually very impulsive. if i have depressive feelings, i will do anything that might make me feel better. and when i encounter these feelings daily, i don't just go home and watch tv and eat some chips or take a nap. shit happens... i'm not saying shit happened...i don't even know that that might entail... but like, here's an example:

yesterday, it was the same as today, except i was less angry at the fucking world and more detached and dejected. i had my wallet, so i went to chipotle. i ate an entire burrito. here's a surprise! going to chipotle alone and eating that much does not numb the pain (whaaa?). when i got home, i took an alka-seltzer fueled (need-to-know-details here) nap and then went to caribou to do homework. only no one could do homework with me, which deep down i completely expected. so i sat there at that four-seater alone, downed a large coffee and got down to business...on tumblr. and then i came home and felt the same exact way i had been feeling since 2:15. i did something similar today, except less food and more assorted pseudo-medications mixed with angry texting (sorry).

i didn't write that, once again, to get a reaction or to let the world know my problems. don't comment unless you want to tell me i'm being an asshole. i just like to blog, YA KNOW THAT, HUH.

*if you were wondering, i don't just throw this word around for the fucking hell of it. seriously. a lot of the time, i thoroughly enjoy being alone; feel independent and empowered. but i hate being lonely.

ohmygod it's haunting me

OH, MINDY

the "douchebag jar" is one of the most genius comedy bits i have ever seen on a sit-com---the new girl is hilarious, i urge any bored people to hulu it, etc


more awesomeness from kaling twitter:

i'm the davinci of creating long boring stories out of what should be a one-sentence explanation.

don't read if you become irritated when i choose to drone on about something i could've easily prevented.

sorry about the typos, i don't care (enough) to correct any mistakes i make

let me paint you a picture.


i get a call at 9:15 PM Saturday night to pick my sister and her friends up at a church where they saw a concert, or something, and bring them back to liz's house (sister's BFF). i wasn't doing anything so it wasn't really a big deal.

as i drive past noodles on my way to the church, i hear my phone ringing, disregard all logic(safety-wise) and answer it. molly says they're at noodles now, so i should pick them up there. i sigh, turn around and head into the noodles parking lot. as i'm parking, molly comes out to the car and makes a motion to roll the window down.

she hands me twenty-one dollars (?) and says i should go to dairy queen. why? because they all decided they are going to eat at noodles "real fast" and molly thinks it best i occupy myself at dq in the meantime. i give molly the finger, pull out of noodles in an incredibly unsafe manner, and order a blizzard. instead of sitting in my car in the dq parking lot eating the blizzard alone like a goddamn loser, i head over to do the same thing in the noodles parking lot. because at least there i have purpose.

fifteen minutes into molly's "sweet sixteen mix" (a cd i found in the car laden with the best of beyoncé, bo, breezy, and britney), i see all five of them exit noodles, giggling hysterically like some sort of fucking "high school is the best time of our lives" montage.

the five of them enter the car and sit in the four seats available, and completely ignore their chauffeur (who was at the time, gagging on her own hair which somehow got into her mouth after shoving it with blizzard). for a majority of the car ride, they choose to discuss which people texted them during the concert and how funny/how tragic/how fascinating this was. THE GIGGLING FAILS TO CEASE THE ENTIRE RIDE, DESPITE THE EXTENSIVE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW WRONG DRUGS ARE AND THE MENACES OF THEIR ALMA MATERS (SMOKELAND AND STILLWHITER JR HIGH, RESPECTFULLY.)

i remain calm and mostly silent throughout the ride, only occasionally digging my index finger into my temple and fantasizing about crashing us all. their giggling overpowered the music, so i decided to focus my energies on what i would say to them as i dropped them off at liz's. i went through all the possible ways to convey fuck you and landed on snorting as they said "thank you for the ride" (if they said that.)

when we finally got to liz's after 24 minutes of giggles, they all say thank you for the ride and liz, the last one in the car says, "thanks so much for the ride, meg" and i immediately return with "you're welcome!" in the sweetest fucking tone i've ever heard myself utter.

and then i came home and blogged about it.


please don't feel the need to comment that i'm a pussy ballsac and shouldn't take that shit. i get it. i shouldn't take it but i do and i don't know why.

too obvious, but worth posting. actually, it's not, but i'm in a reposting mood, dammit. 





this internet is a judgment free zone right?




is this from The Catcher in the Rye  ????? am i inaccurately spotting a literary reference?? maybe






these motherfucking "before i die" and "perfect check list" tumblr posts need to fuck off. most of them are vague wishings of the general population with a small mix of hispter and a giant dose of corny cliche. I'M DONE.



hahahahahhahahahahahaha






poor spanish teacher gets this in the last 15 minutes