Saturday, March 6, 2010

whatup

why my mom sucks at being a driving coach/instructor:

she doesn't pay attention. if i'm in a stressful situation and frantically yell, "what do i do??" she usually replies with a "huh?" followed by a long pause in which she appears to assess where she is, and then tells me what to do.

she cracks "jokes." i was pulling into a tiny parking space in the crowded noodles parking lot, going real-slow-like, when she shouts, "OH! don't hit the beemer!!" and i'm like, "what? that's a beemer??" and she's like, "yes!! if you must hit a car, it should be the Acura to the left." and then she and my sister laugh and laugh at me as i start crying carefully finish pulling in to the spot [woaaaah dirty].

she cracks more inappropriate jokes that thoroughly distract me from the task at hand [WHICH IS FUCKING DRIVING A MOTOR VEHICLE!!!]. for instance, i was driving out of the noodles parking lot and nearly hit another car cuz i said, "oh, that's where we ate last night [pointing to papa murphy's]" and then she replied, "ahh yes, you know, they're famous for their world-class urine soaked crust."






also p.s. my sister said something today [while in the car of course] that i think embodies how different we are:

"i need to get more Maroon 5 on my iPod."

2 comments:

sonia said...

ur mom doesn't like papa murphys!? best pizza chain in america for 6 straight years baby! the other jokes were funny tho..haha

bitch what you got against maroon 5?

sonia said...

i still dont get it.